All Entries Tagged With: "bad writing is bad writing"

Toole Frightened by ghost writers

(Mildcat Creek) It was supposed to be a secret. It was kept under wraps for decades but now the goose droppings have hit the hot tin roof setting off shockwaves as far away as your own backyard.

Yes, longtime supporters expressed shock at the seemingly childish relationship between the retired scribe and his literary support group.

“Sometimes you just have to write the boring, pointless story that goes with the funny headline if for no more than the affect on people skimming the news,” said one ghost writer who begged anonymity.

“Bad writing is bad writing either way even if the writer is simply whitewashing the scene with the wave of a tinker’s damn,” said another spirited scribbler, adding that Toole would have trouble writing his way out of a marshmallow bag.”

One former publisher defended the frightened journalist saying that for years Toole had been afraid of his own shadow and that separate cubicles had been employed to allow for word drainage and security.

“His reluctance to accept these helpers is the root of the issue,” explained the publisher. “He didn’t even show up at this year’s Bad Grammar Awards even though he was a late-inning shoe-in for some mindless trinket or another.

And all this amid confirmations that people all over the world are drinking more and enjoying it less.

– Mrs. Snowbody

“And you want to reform people like these when dynamite’s so cheap?” 

– Carol Kennicott to Vida Sherwin in Main Street by Sinclair Lewis.