All Entries Tagged With: "7000-pound carp landed"

7,000 pound yellow carp pulled from Blue Mesa

(Iola) A massive yellow carp was hauled in by local man, Melvin Testline Toole, Saturday. The exotic garbage fish weighed in at just over 7,000 pounds making it the largest fish ever caught in the free world. Toole was quickly surrounded by an adoring public and is expected to be offered lucrative endorsement contracts due to his feat.

     “Hell, it ain’t nothin’,” spat the angler when interviewed by The Horseshoe. “Just look at the diminished water level in the lake without this baby swimming around in there. Carp tastes like carp. I’d throw the damn thing back but I’m afraid the sudden surge in the water level would wash out the dam and flood Delta!”

-Tommy Middlefinger