Stacking Wood For Spring Still Requires Building Permit

(Gunnison) If you plan to construct a wood pile for the this spring first you must acquire a building permit from the appropriate gov’ment entity. Stipulations as to the size of the structure and longevity of its very existence will determine the cost of such a license.

     Residents are also reminded that they must own at least two lots and have utilities in place before the first piece of oak or aspen is chopped and stacked.

     Although thought to be extreme by some, the new litigation should raise nearly $5000 in revenues which will be earmarked for a Christmas party for sanitation engineers in December. Known as the Garbageman’s Ball, the event fell out of favor with the local city council when it became apparent that 70% of the city’s population relies on garbage men rather than elected officials to get necessary information on city matters. Rumors of intensive beer drinking at the ball further clouded the public appraisal.

     The council intends to follow through with this plan if it’s the last and only thing they do before Memorial Day, according to a source there.

     “At least we’re the ones they show on TV interviews, and not those garbage ruffians,” said one council member.

     The weekly council meetings are shown on closed circuit TV every Monday night following I Love Lucy.

     Meanwhile in adjacent Crested Butte, leaders praised themselves for restraint in this matter. In Telluride, local politcos, bruised by recent local labor strife, also lauded official moderation on the general subject of wood stacks.

     Readers will note that both ski burgs have strict wood burning ordinances and the zones are virtually wood stack free as of press time. Anyone building wood stacks there could be indicted for disturbing the peace unless they are doing it according to pre-approved exercise regimens.

– Rocky Flats