San Juan Horseshoe Recipes

(September 25, 2014)
Grandma’s Pickled Marmot Kidney Pie
YOU WILL NEED:
3 eggs with shell on
2 baby aspirin
8 cups corn meal
2 pounds marmot organs, varied
Some local dirt
16 – 18 pickles (Kosher dills work best)
3 quarts organic pickle juice
Quart Old Forester
8 packages of baseball card gum (hold the cards)

INSTRUCTIONS
Take off clothes. Carefully place all contents in a shoebox.
Shake and stir. Serve that evening semi-chilled.

Catfish Jello Salad
Directions: Take two packages of lemon or banana jello (Live dangerously and use one of each!). Cut a 4-inch opening at the end of each box. Catch 8 catfish, 5 – 6 inches long (Leopard Carp or Tomichi Blowfish may be substituted here). Filet fish and smother in Wonder breadcrumbs. Cram catfish filets into little jello containers. Shake boxes till hell won’t have it. Remove coated fish and place in organic rubber dish. Pour liquid residue into mold and hold between your knees for a full minute. Cook over hot fire for three minutes per side. Place in mold with jello and cool.
Marinade mixture with brown sugar, salt vinegar Tabasco and club soda. Cook for while.
As a special family activity take the hopefully uneaten heads of the fish and construct swell little puppets out of them with toothpicks and material from mom’s sewing basket. A resourceful young camper will soon experiment with al sorts of applications here such as fish pantomime and improvisational dance

“Here in the United States everyone hates everyone else. It’s nothing personal.”

– Muffy Hollandaise, Sociologist