Rolled Up Street Injures Silverton Man

(San Juan de Las Montanas) They really do roll up the streets around here in the winter. Ask Marvin Tinkleholland of Silverton who was recently hospitalized in Durango following a head-on collision with 13th Street here Thursday night.

Tinkleholland, a sailboat mechanic, was returning from a friend’s house at about 8 pm when he was caught up by the diminishing street. Town crews had no time to react and could only watch and wait as Tinkleholland went round and round. The startled man had no choice but to go with the flow to avoid further injury. Finally, when the street was completely rolled up, he was extracted by emergency medical technicians and driven to the Saint Roscoe’s Hospital in nearby Howardsville.

“He was handling matters quite well until he was hit by a stubborn curb at the intersection of Blair Street,” said one EMT. “I really don’t understand all the fuss. This kind of thing happens everyday up in Gladstone.”

Tinkleholland was cheated and released the next morning. He had only recently recovered from bruises received during the infamous Running of the Bullshit in Ouray in back in November.

“We have published our street rolling up schedule and crews have been asked to exercise extreme caution in their daily chores,” said one Silverton town council member. “People have to do the rest. They know that dusk can be a dangerous time, especially with all the snow. We suggest that they limit evening strolls to Greene Street which is not rolled up until midnight.”

– Uncle Pahgre