McDonald Sucked Into Meat Grinder

(Montrose) Local clown/restaurateur Ronald McDonald was seriously injured when he was sucked into a meat grinder at his eatery here. According to police McDonald’s baggy clown suit became tangled up in the mechanism and before anyone knew it he was gone.
“It was quite the little deal,” said McDonald employee Bennie Zitte, of Coal Creek. “One minute he was here, then the next he was bun bait.”
A badly rattled McDonald is currently hospitalized for burns and abrasions suffered at the hands of the meat grinder. Physicians agree that it might have been curtains for the clown had he continued on into the paddy machine.
“He’s a tough old bird,” said Zitte.