Lowering Legal Drinking Age Sticky Fiscal Policy

While most economists agree that dropping the legal drinking age to eleven would help jumpstart the economy, politicians are eyeballing the polls prior to a House vote Tuesday.

After a 90-day study, three independent panels concluded that allowing children to legally partake of alcoholic beverages would bump the tax coffers by billions of dollars in new revenue.

Insiders shouted down proposals from outsiders. People fidgeted in their seats. Coffee was served. Then everyone went home to practice campaigning in the mirror.

Sources on Capital Hill discounted estimates that the new loosening of restrictions would pay off the national debt.

“That’s a lot of money,” laughed one senator.

“Dropping the drinking age to 11 could pay off the national debt in weeks

says a leading TV pop-sociologist, Dr Marvin T. Fogy BFD. “I’ve done the math. Even when dealing with untested control groups we can predict quantitative behavior in a matter of mega-seconds, employing cloud reading in the sky at dusk. If 11 is a little early …maybe 14?”

Meanwhile corporate interests watch the drama unfold knowing that they will not have to change massive marketing plans so as to brainwash a new generation of drinkers.

“Our TV ads have always been aimed at 12-year-olds and not necessarily the brightest of that grouping,” said an industry spokesman. “There’s not much we can do now but sit back and let our lobbyists do their magic.”