WHAT I’VE FOUND OUT

*It’s almost impossible to slam the door of a tent no matter how perturbed or insistent one might be.
*We can stimulate the economy by terminating/redistributing Congressional salaries, pensions and benefits.
*”Deep in the Heart of Rhode Island” is a terrible title for a song
*It’s relatively easy to make vodka especially if the quality is not a priority
*The rich have always expected the poor to exhibit high morals.
*Parrots possess the intelligence and temperament of a two-year-old child.
*It is not all that sensuous to eat grits above the Mason-Dixon Line unless one performs the ritual of doing so completely naked while humming Carolina in the Morning.
*Only 37% of Americans currently hold a US Passport
*There is absolutely nothing clean about any brand of gasoline, especially its CEOs.
*Despite the fact that we are here to enjoy this Garden there are plenty of guilt mongers, spiritual parasites, power charlatans and lords of control who strive to convince us that only sinners would do such a pagan thing.
*GMOs are not muscle cars
*When in the pinch chickens are only too happy to eat leftover sauerkraut and cold black-eyed peas on January 2.
*Government is parasitic, elitist and dictatorial.
*Siddhartha Guatama, founder of Buddhism, died at 80 from a piece of tainted pork in 484 BC.
*If you are not a militant at this point you are a sheep.
*Instead of sending Colorado water to Southern California we should instead send them more personalized license plates..
*The only way to really save money at a Big Box/Corporation store is to stay out of it.
*Surrounding yourself with people crazier than you is the only path to true enlightenment.
* When it comes to courting, a glass of champagne is worth more than a gallon of cheap cologne.
*A lot of people addicted to their legal prescriptions have voted against legal marijuana use.
*If Iran promised to use only uranium from the West End the population in that neck of the woods would support that nation’s quest for nuclear power.
*Beautiful and stimulating communities like Jerome, Arizona continue to thrive despite the plastic pressures surrounding them in the 21st Century.
*If a rich politician won the lottery it sure wouldn’t be plastered all over the news.
*If the United States Congress would simply embrace the concept of us instead of the twisted priority of me the country would benefit greatly. This could start with their constituencies.
*Luck almost always breaks a sweat.
*People who have tunnel vision are often afraid of the dark as well.
*Crisp kitchen table metaphors are always more appreciated that wilted mudroom metaphysics.
*The Super Bowl is to Wal-Mart as ______. (Fill in please)
*Is it just me or did Mike Shanahan jeopardize the career of RG III by leaving him in a playoff game where it was obvious he a was seriously injured and when he had a perfectly capable quarterback cooling his heels on the bench?
*It appears that the rich born agains may be right: Heaven is a gated community.
*Many GOP members of the House voted to cut security funds at many U.S. embassies prior to the Benghazi attack.
*Russian physician Nikolai Pirogov pioneered the concept of field surgery during the Crimean War making him the father of the MASH unit concept. Unfortunately he never had a television program and subsequently was never portrayed by Alan Alda.
*Who cares if Beyonce can sing?
*If all the DUIs handed out since 1995 were affecting real change in traffic deaths you can bet that data would be plastered on giant billboards all over the country.
*Colombia makes the scene in Las Vegas and New Orleans look like a church picnic.
*There’s nothing quite as nostalgic as a good old fashioned western hanging.
*If the San Juan Horseshoe website were a kosher deli it would give away pickles.