Ice Park Summer Closure to Continue

(Ouray) The whirled famous Ouray Ice Park will remain shut down despite earlier efforts to keep things froze up for summer tourists.  Warmer weather and a lack of precipitation are blamed for the suspension of activities at the facilit according to unreliable sources operating in town. 

“They can still buy the videos all summer, or wander up the path and look at Box Canyon Falls, the semi-historic bridge and the state barn,” said Holmes Sherlock, coordinator of the ice park and highly sought botanist who is currently employed as a wall flower for the city. “We tried to keep the place going but it was just too much work without any ice. It doesn’t much matter if we’re talking Fahrenheit or Celsius. It’s all the same can of worms. People think it’s easy running an outfit like this but I’m here to tell you that it ain’t. We’re just as disappointed as the next guy,” he winced. Yes, we’ve been forced to see it as just a winter thing after all.”

Digital refrigeration experts say ice park personnel did a fantastic job of keeping the place open through April with an intricate system of fans and daily purchases of ice from local liquor store, but that budget constraints and limited federal funding axed that procedure in May. Then, despite high water and cutting edge equipment junkies on the scene, the wheels fell off, boncing to the bottom.

“I got to work one morning and all there was left of the ice park was water, wildflowers and exposed rock,” said Sherlock. “I was forced, despite my better judgment, to shut her down and make room for the flocks of pygmy hummingbirds that call these cliffs their home.”

Sherlock told The Horseshoe that he hoped to open the park back up sometime prior to Thanksgiving, if Mother Nature cooperates. Persons wishing to contribute to the ice park fund or the pygmy hummingbird rescue are encouraged to do so by pinning currency to the god tree, located just inside the park.

– Warren of Wexley