Empty Congress to House Homeless Over Holidays

(Warshington) Some 800 of this city’s homeless and downtrodden will at least be warm over the holidays thanks to a compassionate and innovative arrangement sponsored by Sen. Oral Noise (Unitarian-CA).

Passed overwhelmingly by the House and Senate yesterday the plan calls for the indigent to be housed in vacated Congressional chambers until the legislative body returns for work in January. By turning meeting rooms into dorms and hallowed halls into storage areas the 800 unfortunates can be accommodated quite nicely according to proponents here.

“The homeless don’t often have a lot of accessories so storage is not usually an issue,” said one neighborhood organizer on the scene. “There are the hoarders and the bag ladies with the shopping carts but we intend to enforce strict regulations as to who stays and who goes.”

“Considering the recent status of our government maybe the elected officials will not come back.,” said Noise, a self-appointed long-term, non-essential government worker. “If that phenomenon were to occur these poor folks may be living downtown and that might result in more production.”

Input from both sides of “millionaire’s aisle” was limited with liberals lauding the program and conservatives slamming it as another socialist giveaway. They blamed Obama for future failures of the “sub-lease”.

Flea Party voices were dimmed with several leading idolatries rising to the surface suggesting that once the poor move in the government would never get them out.

“Let’s be candid here,” stressed Noise. “Our accomplishments recorded in this building have been nothing to shout about. Maybe we should let our congressmen meet in cold parks, under bridges and in blazing hot alleyways. Maybe they should debate the controversies of the day while huddled around burning trashcans or consider the worth of a bill standing outside in a freezing, windy parking lot wondering where “bed” would be tonight. Maybe then they might get a grasp of the real cycle of poverty in this great country.”

Meanwhile over at the White House a Presidential aide told reporters that Barrack and Michelle Obama would not participate in the Homeless Housing since they had done Christmas entertaining early and would be at Camp David through New Years.                  – Dinty Moore