Deadline for hibernation permits draws near

(Bland Valley) Colorado Residents who wish to hibernate this winter have until Thursday to obtain official State Hibernation Permits. The procedure is simple enough and cave assignment/placement is often immediate. Applicants must only stop by the nearest Division of Wildlife office to pick up the needed forms.

“We have begun to closely monitor hibernation since more and more people have expressed interest in this winter diversion,” said Kay Slumber, Director of Latent Dormancy for the Western Slope. “This, combined with the population explosion here, has made cave space a premium and has threatened to disrupt the peace and quiet enjoyed for centuries by innocent fur-bearing animals.”

In addition to a small fee, persons wishing to enter this torpid state must also undergo a hibernation safety course, which is offered on Saturdays until January 20.

“In effect, this is an extended deadline,” smiled Slumber, “and we hope participants will be kind to our clerks when registering. We know you’re tired and hungry but getting testy with our people will only make matters worse.”

-Geraldine Cod