Congress Reschedules Colonoscopies Until After Elections

(Warshinkton) The United States Congress today rescheduled a group colonoscopy for November 6, three days after the coming election. The sudden shift affects 50 senators and over 80 representatives.

“We have been on hold here since Obamacare so what’s another month?” asked Winnie Kampachi (Unitarian-MT).

The reason given for the cancellations was quite vague as has become customary within the governing body. Some say the simple surgery will conflict with last minute campaigning while others expressed concern that their medical results may get lost in the mail now that the USPS has been castrated.

“Considering the scope of things here most of our “leaders” don’t want to be on-camera until they can better analyze the polls in the days preceding homecoming at their designated Electoral College.

Politicians in the loser’s seat after November 3 are in heated debate over what constitutes a pre-existing condition and what is clearly cranium-rectal disorder, easily treated with overpriced robber baron pharmaceuticals.

The Congress will not be in session on the day of the colonoscopies despite the fact that the intrusive checkup is an outpatient procedure.    

– Hal A. Butt