All Entries in the "Lifestyles at Risk" Category
Fast Food’s Very Negative Impact
The real world of the fast food industry. Counter clockwise Top: Actor portraying happy fast food worker. Actual Fast food worker. Young diners. Rewarded stockholders.Trash generated by fast food industry.
TRUMP TO GRACE $10,000 BILL
(Florida White House) President for now, Donald Trump, may grace new United States currency as early as summer. Due to an Executive Action on the part of the besieged Commander in Chief, his familiar sneer with orange hair is perched to don the newly minted $10,000 bill.
Along with Trump’s mug the bill will be decorated with In Wall Street We Trust and feature an engraving of Trump Towers in Manhattan on the back.
Poster boy in front of The Towers of Babble in NYC
Most of his middle class supporters, former and current, will probably never see one. Conversely many are behind the move saying their boy deserves the honor of joining Washington, Jefferson and Lincoln on American currency.
Mount Rusmore was not discussed.
What’s in it for me Republicans and gelded Democrats mumbled approval while telling their constituencies that they were fighting for their rights and freedoms. Most appear anxious as to whether they, as contractors, will be stiffed by Trump come pay day.
Whether or not the cumbersome, almost worthless penny will finally be discarded was not discussed according to unreliable sources on the scene. Sources in the House confirmned that it would act on the penny as soon as Obamacare is replaced.
Detractors chimed in saying that maybe the President can cash a few of these new notes in to pay for his lavish vacations charged on the taxpayer’s tab.
One vocal critic of the current administration told The Horseshoe that National Security Advisor, Steve Bannon had been considered for a newly proposed $100,000 bill but considering his covert role he has declined the offer.
“We see a day,” said House Whip, Rich McGrovel, “when the rich will use bills of this denomination for debts public and private, while the rest of the peasants will clutch the same old fives and tens trying to survive inflation.”
Although nothing is certain, the White House has seen a parade of cosmetologists and photographers since the plan was announced Friday.
In a related piece, Education Secretary Betsy DeVos plans to ban the Spanish language from public schools. DeVoss who consistently earned straight As in penmanship while in high school, explained her position in that “I can’t understand a word that those people are saying.”
Readers are warned to keep seat belts securely fastened as turbulence is likely to occur.
“Incompetence is it’s own reward.” – Uncle Pahgre
My Latino Wall Stories
I remember once when my daughter and I traveled to Mexico to visit some friends who had moved there from Colorado. As we passed the border we both let out an individual sigh of release then looked at each other laughing at the simultaneous relief. We were no longer in Babylon.
Sure Mexico was no paradise. One had to keep an eye out. There was chaos on the border but not inside the heads of the residents like in the other America. We drove to the Immigration Office to show our papers. The local kids were fascinated with my German Shepherd who had gleefully enjoyed the ride from the Rockies from her optional shelter in the back of my pickup.
The kids were afraid at first but then when she started licking them they squealed in joy. They were ecstatic at the presence of this fury visitor. I let them feed her and give her water. They were in heaven and so was she with all these little kids around. Sweet girl.
Meghan went in first and I stayed behind the watch things around the truck. It would make a few minutes to get her passport stamped. It was taking longer than it should and I shot a few glances at the tin office while I played with the kids.
“Come se llama? I said. Que bueno! Me gusta su nombre.”
When my daughter returned she was laughing and looking back at the office. She was obviously pleased but blushing ever-so-slightly. She greeted the kids.
One of he immigration men had told his compadres that she was his next wife. Thinking she was a blonde-haired, blue-eyed gringa and didn’t speak the language he had gone on and one to the delight of his friends. The she dropped the hammer.
“Tiene una casa, señor? Donde nos viviremos después? No necesito mucho pero yo quiero muchas ropas y un caro simpatico.” (Do you have a house? Where will we live? I don’t need much just a lot of clothes and a nice car)
It blew his shorts off. His friends were stunned and then exploded into laughter. Like all civil servants the world over they deal with boredom. They were well entertained.
When it came my turn to go to immigration I walked in and identified the prime suspect saying “Hijo!” and attempted to embrace my new son-in-law much to his dismay. It brought the place down. Meghan said she could hear the laughter from the parking lot. They got so carried away I had to twice remind them to stamp my passport.
Alpine Hangman to Retire
(Wimpton-on-Uncompahgre) The Ladies Auxiliary of the Old West will host a pie and coffee gathering to honor the infamous Alpine Hangman, who will hang up his noose and hood in December.
Filthy Pierrepoint, the chief executioner for Colorado, Wyoming and Utah assumed the role of circuit rider in order to perform his morbid tasks. He logged more than a million miles on horseback, train and automobile from the mid-Fifties to present. Even in his golden years he never traveled by air saying he was frightened by the whole experience.
In 1977 he served as a guest executioner in Alaska but never warmed up to the Midnight Sun and the months of darkness saying his profession was better suited to the sunrise. Pierrepoint has hosted over 177 hangings since 1956 making him the most prolific hangman in history. Insisting on hemp rope, he scribbled notes on each victim as to neck size, body language and last words.
A former chief of the notorious motorcycle gang, The Sons of Succotash, Pierrepoint saw the light after the Korean War and embraced his current vocation. A longtime Colorado Republican Pierrepoint served as deacon at the Bland Valley’s Blinding Faith Temple and is an avid collector of dead butterflies.
– Fred Zeppelin
“Is not the whole world a vast house of assignation to which the filing system has been lost?” – Quentin Crisp
Happy, Lucky in Kon Tum!
Silly local kids on the street in the mountains near Kontum, Vietnam
TOOLE FALLS FROM COCONUT PALM
(Las Palmas de Gran Canaria) Award winning American journalist, Melvin Toole, was hospitalized here after a fall from a giant coconut palm tree. According to witnesses on the beach Toole was at the top of the tree reaching for choice fruit when he slipped and fell.
The offending tree
“His path followed the basic outline of the trunk,” said a companion. “He bounced his way to the sand colliding with the trunk at least five times before landing.”
Bathers at first thought the fall was a stunt and that Toole was simply practicing some sort of misguided act. When the ambulance arrived most of them feigned concern then went back to tanning.
The rattled writer, a former member of the Flying Farcheezie High Wire Troupe, has been known to engage in senseless tricks and idiotic feats over the years. However, this most recent death-defying move was purely accidental say friends.
Toole is expected to be released from the hospital as soon as his clown suit comes back from the dry cleaners.
– Nicholas Breakspear aka His Extreme Holiness
