All Entries in the "Fractured Opinion" Category
Should feds to bail out DUI squads?
DUI squads are losing money hand over fist with lockdowns
(Manana) State and federal governments continue to wrestle with options regarding the possible bail out of cash-strapped police departments who no longer can rely on lucrative income from DUI arrests.
Law enforcement agencies, that had come to count on the easy money to buy flashy military equipment and hire more poorly paid officers, are now forced to tow the line and adhere to tighter budgets.
The decrease in DUI arrests is also making it tough for the courts and jails to keep their shaved heads above water. Diminished resources have led to an upsweep in arrests for less profitable hate crimes, larceny, narcotic use, and domestic abuse.
Cops Stop Motorist Suspected of Infraction Back in the Good Ol’ Days
“If nobody is driving then it only follows that nobody is driving under the influence of alcohol during these dark days of the pandemic,” said one uniformed source here. “We’re losing our asses. We have carried the torch and now we need an infusion of money.”
The source went on to say that without the police patrolling the highways looking for drunk drivers the whole society would fall apart by the weekend.
“Most of this is an exaggeration,” said a sitting circuit judge, “since some people are still driving with or without a license or insurance. Considering that a great many of them are under stress it would not be a giant leap of faith to consider that some are hammered at the wheel.”
– Marianne Marvelous
Amarillo marcado en un paraíso andino
Debido al virus, el cierre mundial y los vuelos cancelados, hemos estado en cuarentena cerca de una ciudad de montaña de 6500 pies en Antioquia, Colombia desde mediados de marzo. Hace 74 grados, soleado y silencioso.
Después de buscar días por calles vacías y entre los residentes enmascarados, finalmente he aceptado el lamentable hecho de que las tiendas de comestibles en el pequeño pueblo de Jardin, Colombia, no ofrecen Twinkies o Ding Dongs. Puedo lidiar con la flagrante, casi arrogante ausencia de encurtidos kosher, filetes de atún ahi, pizza congelada, champán y caviar, ¿pero ahora esto?
Hoy compramos arroz, frijoles, mangos, huevos, calabacín, jarabe de arce, pollo, ajo, pimientos, yuca, papas, camarones, salmón, cerveza, ron, granola, queso, jamón, chorizo, crema, leche, jengibre, mantequilla de maní. , pasta, maní, papas fritas, tomates, papaya, agua mineral, productos de papel, galletas de soda, Oreos, yogurt, pasta de dientes, tilapia, duraznos enlatados, café, mantequilla, albahaca, salsa, tomillo, orégano, alcaparras, vino para cocinar, aceitunas , salsa de espagueti, mezcla para panqueques, chocolate, cilantro y pepinos.
Todo fue entregado (huevos en el manillar) a nuestra casa de campo a un kilómetro de la ciudad sin cargo adicional. Servicio domicilio ala moto. Incluso la cerveza todavía estaba fría. El alamode de supervivencia puede ser un entretenimiento de alto impacto.
Jardin, Antioquia, Colombia from LaLinda
Esta noche nos deleitaremos con ajiaco o sancocho o tal vez fritanga. Las recetas para estos platos finos se pueden arrinconar fácilmente en una variedad de fuentes.
Sentado en mi oficina al aire libre mirando los plátanos y los mandarines, tengo la idea de que soy un intruso en este magnífico paisaje de abrumadoras verdes y brisas. Mi vecino, Fabio, cosecha granos de café para vender mientras veo pájaros, vigilo las noticias, escribo historias y leo libros. Nunca te aburrirás cuando haya libros.
He leído a Tolstoi al revés y a Joyce en el derecho de retención horizontal y en la fuga. Sí, técnicamente soy un extranjero ilegal debido al cierre de la máquina de inmigración en Medellín impulsado por virus. El pasaporte de mi compañero ha caducado y ya no poseemos un boleto de avión de regreso a los EE. UU. Podríamos alquilar una casa rodante e intentar atravesar el Darién, pero no tienen casas rodantes aquí, como en el norte.
Pero no hemos tocado un embrague en meses. Caminamos hacia la ciudad de arriba a abajo por las lodosas colinas del bosque hasta el puente amarillo que cruza el río que cae en cascada desde el circo chiva y las trucharias en Caldas hacia el sur. Es suficiente ejercicio para lubricar nuestros cerebros y huesos y ganar una cerveza por la noche. En la ciudad, la plaza se encuentra vacía al borde de las lágrimas esperando ser nuevamente el centro de la vida.
Los perros del vecino ahora están visitando esta mañana, mientras las dos vacas residentes muy amigables nos miran desde la línea de la valla endeble, esperando que entreguemos el almuerzo de la hierba dulce fuera de nuestro alcance. Los caballos relinchan en las sombras restantes del anochecer sin preocuparse por la situación humana.
A veces nos sentamos en el patio y miramos la aldea tranquila y desierta, un lugar que hace solo unas semanas estaba lleno de vida. Oh, excepto por el gruñido de altas revoluciones y el estruendo de una motocicleta mal sintonizada que rebota en las paredes coloniales o personas que gritan hola desde balcones o bocinas de autobuses que hacen sonar sus salidas, o el tintineo de botellas de cerveza o campanas de iglesia golpeando a horas impías.
El río se agita y brota después de una lluvia apagada y Rocas chilla en el bosque. Observamos cómo el turno diurno de las abejas y las moscas es reemplazado por la fuerza laboral nocturna de las polillas y los escarabajos.
Algunos días casi puedo escuchar el sonido de los árboles creciendo.
– Melvino Tulavera
YOU MAY HAVE MISSED THE RAPTURE
What you need to know
According the mega-preacher Rev Dr. Arthur Conne of the Third Degree Apostolic and Very Holy Tabernacle of Our Savior Cathedral and Bingo Restitution Hall “He came back in March – If you have not been contacted as of May 15 it looks like you are out of the Loop.” But not all is lost: You could start living like Jesus told you to and see what happens down the road.
– Dieter Upanishads
Trump claims great grandfather was a famous Confederate general.
Donald Trump’s boast that one of his ancestors was a decorated Confederate general has been playing well south of the Mason-Dixon Line.
The relative he claims must be from his mother’s side, a foggy genetic pool with a severely psychotic and combative DNA running through the bloodline. It’s not easy to trace much less isolate the alleged military man. Wartime deeds were not always recorded properly. Accounts were askew. Documentation was lax. Testimonials were incomplete. Even surnames are difficult to establish after 150 years. Perfect.
Donald Trump’s paternal ancestry is traceable to Bobenheim am Berg, a village in the Palatinate, Germany, in the 18th century. Great-grandfather Johann Trump, born in Bobenheim in 1789, moved to the nearby village of Kallstadt where his grandson, Friedrich Trump, the grandfather of Donald Trump, was born in 1869.
So this “great warrior festooned with a chest of medals,” to quote Trump; this hereditary phantom must have belonged on his mother’s side of the family. Since woman were relegated to domestic duties and childbearing they would most likely not been chronicled efficiently and memorably…Yes, most definitely he must have been talking about his mother’s side.
Given the sordid history of family, the assertion comes as little surprise. But even when applying an ultra-liberal math/generational factor of minus 30 (All becoming parents at 30 years-old, his mother would have been born in 1918 while his grandfather Terrence Kaiser Trump would have hatched in 1888. Employing the same ratio, his great-grandfather, Wilhelm Rolf Trump, would have been born in 1858. Had Wilhelm achieved the rank of general even in the threadbare Confederate Army of 1865* he would have been 7-years-old making him the youngest general on both sides of the American Civil War
“I’m quite astonished that he did not carry this one step further and put himself up there on this fabricated general’s horse,” said Susie Compost, of the Failed Nation. “It all seems quite preposterous kind of like advising people to drink beach to combat the Corona Virus.
When pressed on this issue Trump called on reporters to do their homework and stop trying to discredit him.
– Gabby Haze
*Many Trumpers are either not familiar with what occurred in 1865 or take comfort in the belief that the Civil War is still going on.
High Water Threatens E-Bay
(Camp Bird) Heavy monsoons, combined with continued run-off from melting snow have turned a once tranquil E-Bay into a swirling, choppy hellhole unfit for human utilization. The bay is expected to remain off-limits to boaters and fishermen until water engineers can recreate natural flow and repair traditional drainage ditches wiped out by the aquatic thrust.
“We were caught with our wet suits down on this one,” admitted local ditch rider Dag Katz, who has been employed by the county for almost forty years. “We watched the water rise thinking it would subside only to find that it quickly became a monster exhibiting major swells and rip tides not seen here since the Nixon Presidency.”
The infamous bay, perched high in the San Juans deep in the Edith Bunker National Forest, is currently at overflow stage thwarting ocean-going commerce and giant oil tankers attempting to plot their way over Imogene Pass. Local fauna and flora, caught in the path of the water have been driven out or in some more drastic episodes, have perished. It is hoped that summer tourist season or the fall color extravaganza will not be affected.
“Back in the drought days a phenomenon like this would have been unthinkable,” said Katz. “This may very well be the most destructive environmental development since they started building golf corpses in the elk habitat without pay-offs to Mother Nature.
Initial plans to start containment fires along E-Bay’s vast shoreline have been abandoned due to concerns over bear foraging and the annual marmot migration. Projections now suggest that when rains subside the situation will return to normal.
“The problem is that the flood waters put all our fires out on impact,” said Katz “It’s a miracle that the entire town of Ouray wasn’t swept away to the Bland Valley,” he continued. “If it weren’t for the sophisticated flume system we could all be speaking Chinese by now.”
– Uncle Pahgre
Today’s “You Can Make a Difference” Question:
Should Tarzan’s patented jungle yell be classified as a yodel,
a rallying cry or simply a primal scream? VOTE NOW.
You could be planner for a day
(Ouray) A bold new contest, sponsored in part by County Commissioners here offers workaday residents a chance to pull a few strings when it comes to the future. Planner For A Day gives 365 people a chance to be winners. These lucky persons will then be granted 24 hours during the next calendar year in which to engage in both county and town planning.
The lottery, or competitive encounter, as it is called over at the Quart House, has everyone talking. As of late last night some 1200 county residents have applied for one of the 365 spots up for grabs. If a more radical element within the county gets its way the contest will be opened up to visitors as well.
“We don’t see why these Ouray enthusiasts (tourists) can’t make a contribution,” said Melvin Toole-Booth, father of the competition. “They should not be excluded just because they aren’t familiar with any of the issues.”
Toole-Booth went on to say that the average American does not realize the magnitude of planning that can occur in one 24-hour period. He insists that the licensing of 365 planners, all with proper permits and little planner hats, will not have adverse effects although he concedes that the paperwork may be a problem.
“What’s the big deal,” he laughed. “The winner goes to work and plans, eats lunch, plans some more and then he goes home. The next day another winner comes in and plans, eats, plans some more, goes home and so on until either all the planning is accomplished or we run out of planners.”
The deadline to apply for these coveted positions is May 2. All candidates must show ability to sing the Star Spangled Banner and pass a simple intelligence test.
“And it helps if they know what county they live in,” stressed Toole-Booth, who compares the event to the annual Jeep Raffle, which features only one winner, usually from out of the region.
– Navajo Sam
