BRONCOS GET HELP ON OFFENSIVE LINE

(Denver) The Denver Broncos today signed veteran right tackle Walter Buffalo to a series of one-year contracts with stunted yet lucrative incentives. Saying that the team had been hard pressed to find a healthy human to do the job, a spokesman for the player personnel office assured fans that Walter was capable of performing at NFL levels.

“He didn’t play a down of high school ball because he didn’t go to high school,” said Anwar Tripuka. “His college career, as a “Colorado” Buffalo, was cut short because of grades and conflicting dietary plateaus at Boulder.”

Ed, as his teammates call him, is somewhat concerned about playing on astroturf which he feels is a dangerous waste of talent. Unlike most NFL defenses he is currently having a problem with the Broncos’ intricate offensive scheme.

“At first nobody wanted to room with him on the road because of…uh…the hair and all,” said Tripuka, “but his stunning personality has won out over any negative considerations at play.”

Walter is the first resident of the Southeast Asia to suit up in the professional ranks. His ability, marred to a certain extent because of social mores, seems to be highlighting itself at the end of each practice where he is clearly searching for spiritual meaning in playbooks and challenging running backs at the line of scrimmage.

Rocky Flats