EVE WAS FRAMED SLATED FOR MARCH

The controversial play Eve Was Framed will be presented by the Western State drama department on the banks of the East River here through March. The locale was chosen so as to make use of the seasonal backdrop of high winds and light snow (the masses) and because the coming summer Gunnison resembles the legendary Garden of Eden.
Playwright Ella Benedictine Rockefeller, a senior majoring in body chemistry, completed the work while on a Greyhound coming up from Oklahoma City. Here is a preview:

EVE WAS FRAMED

Act II The scene: A jerkwater jail somewhere in the Midwest

Jailer: But boss, we got her. Now what we goin’ to do with her?
Hog: We’ll just teach her a thing or two about the order of things, why we’ll…
Serpent: What’s she done? What’s her real crime?
White-haired judge: Next. Wait…this isn’t another drug case. Where am I? She’s an apple pusher?
Hog: Just follow the notes that we have given you. There’s no need to bother the jury with details. She’s guilty. She gave him the apple.
Serpent: Yeah. Get on with it. Some of us are really very busy. Gotta get the wood in. Gotta get the rest of the fruit canned. How does your garden grow?
Jailer: What are we goin’ to do next, boss?
Hog: Maybe burn her as a witch. That’s worked before. We’ve got to make an example of her or all is lost.
Serpent: Power base. Blast off!
Eve: Adam?
Hog: He’s in the other cell. We got him for possession. There’s no use crying out. I’ll hold you in contempt.
Judge: Possession of an apple? That’s not illegal.
Hog: Not yet. Just wait till our boy Dubya gets into the…
Serpent: Look at the evidence. That apple definitely has a bite out of it. Look at the teeth marks. Haven’t you ever heard of DNA?
Jailer: There’s no mention of it in the Bible.
Hog: It’s definitely got a bite out of it. That’s good enough for me.
Judge: The dirty deed has been done. We all agree on that. These two have fallen from grace but we need to find a scapegoat.
Hog: She’s right there in the cell.
Judge: But she looks so innocent.
Hog: That’s just an act. They all do that. We had better act before things get out of hand for ever.
Judge: I have my verdict. I find the defendant guilty as charged and sentence her to co-exist with males for all eternity.
Hog: And he’s letting you off easy, honey.
Serpent: Red Delicious anyone?

– from The Tower of Babble by Rasputin Trump