HORSESHOE TO AUCTION UNUSED TRUMP HEADS

Moved by the efforts of Donald Trump to sell Presidential pardons, we proudly present a public sale of Newly Generated But Never Used Headlines from the Trump Era. Collect them all! These artifacts that will surely be worth a fortune in the years to come, you can bet on that!

Trump Era Unused Headlines-Auction

Inspirational headlines we won’t be using now since the Golam* is kind of gone (*dragon ruler, not to be confused with Golam in Farsi which means My Dear)

Russian Moles and Some Republicans Continue to Defend Trump

Even rodents know when to quit

$26.99 with tank rental when you bunch Congressmen

Trump Waving at No One in Press Photos

Thousands of MAGA hats abandoned in WH basement

$300.00 with smudged handicap and “etch-a-sketch” scorecard

Trump pushed for Doctor Pepper in initial Covid power struggle

Why such low prices? – If we don’t move it we have to inventory it! Buy today!

$139.00 with deposit. No ice.

Trump’s Mysterious Phone call to Hessians downplayed by Supreme Quart

Other than the Deutsche Bank who else did Donald owe?

$66.99 incl. photo of Biblical Trump in front of Reichstag

Black man claims direct lineage to Trump, Crazy Horse and Billie Holiday

(Selma, AL) It’s strange enough to see a 106-year-old black man in a full war bonnet walking around downtown with his medicine bag, singing the blues, his orange hair sparkling in the sun…

$650.00 with unpublished photos and lyrics

Extreme Right Applauds Trump Fire Sale on Death Row

Private Prisons Feel Slighted According to DOJ

Only $70.00 in Bodoni bold

Trump denies stiffing DC moving company on Jan 20

Pence Paid Bill Cries Ex-Leader – VP Says No

$177.99 unsigned with Presidential seal intact 

DID TRUMP PARDON HITLER ON WAY OUT THE DOOR?

We didn’t see the name Adolf on his pardons roster but…

$200 – Subhead at no additional charge.

All of our one-of-a-kind headlines arrive at your door framed in a special Top Secret envelope just like ones they use over at the State Department. Easy assembly with replacement adjectives and adverbs available. Some sizes run big – Check our typeface chart. Prices not compatible with other offers. Warning: Could cause eyestrain and gas. Sorry no returns. Buy today and receive 5 Death Row Lotto Tickets that could win you up to $2,000,000!