“The Mad, Mad Malarkey of Brian O’Linn”

Brian O’Linn was a gentleman born,

His hair it was long and his beard unshorn,

His teeth were out and his eyes far in—

“I’m a wonderful beauty,” says Brian O’Linn!

 

Brian O’Linn was hard up for a coat,

He borrowed the skin of a neighboring goat,

He buckled the horns right under his chin—

“They’ll answer for pistols,” says Brian O’Linn!

 

Brian O’Linn had no breeches to wear,

He got him a sheepskin to make him a pair,

With the fleshy side out and the woolly side in—

“They are pleasant and cool,” says Brian O’Linn!

 

Brian O’Linn had no hat to his head,

He stuck on a pot that was under the shed,

He murdered a cod for the sake of his fin—

“‘Twill pass for a feather,” says Brian O’Linn!

 

Brian O’Linn had no shirt to his back,

He went to a neighbor and borrowed a sack,

He puckered the meal-bag under his chin—

“They’ll take it for ruffles,” says Brian O’Linn!

 

Brian O’Linn had no shoes at all.

He brought an old pair at a cobbler’s stall,

The uppers were broke and the soles were thin—

“They’ll do me for dancing,” says Brian O’Linn!

 

Brian O’Linn had no watch for to wear,

He brought a fine turnip and scooped it out fair,

He slipped a live cricket right under the skin—

“They’ll think it is tickling,” says Brian O’Linn!

 

Brian O’Linn was in want of a broach,

He stuck a brass pin in a big cockroach,.

The breast of his shirt he fixed it straight in—

“They’ll think it’s a diamond,” says Brian O’Linn!

 

Brian O’Linn went a-courting one night,

He set both the mother and daughter to fight—

“Stop, stop,” he exclaimed, “If you have but the tin,”

I’ll marry you both,” says Brian O’Linn.

 

Brian O’Linn went to bring his wife home,

He had but one horse that was all skin and bone—

“I’ll put her behind me, as nate as a pink,

And her mother before me” says Brian O’Linn!

 

Brian O’Linn and his wife and wife’s mother,

They all crossed over the bridge together,

The bridge broke down and they all tumbled in—

“We’ll go home by water,” says Brian O’Linn!