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Who is prettier? Taylor Swift or Travis Kelce?

Although final tallies in this stirring beauty competition are far from completed, our powdered and puffed experts here are projecting that Taylor Swift has a slight lead with Travis Kielce closing some gaps since football season was completed and he had more time for personal appearances, schmoozing  posing.

Beauty contests like this are important to the well-being of the nation and provide a suitable diversion for the tiny-brained when they are confronted with the often annoying, sometimes painful realization that the world is on fire.

Readers will be pleased to know that they will be the first to be notified on earth shattering results that will not be interrupted with disconcerting news from Ukraine, Gaza, presidential elections, street crime or Global Warming. Now sit down and eat your pablum. One of our corrections associates will be around to pat you on the head in a moment.

For more information on this and other stunning beauty contests call your elected officials