All Entries Tagged With: "Silverton"
When we die do our passwords go with us?
Most of us, even those who fight it, are burdened with an assortment of internet passwords, many that have little clarity or purpose as to security or access. They seem to be just another embrace of the reality that tears us away from nature and forces us to become just a little more out of touch with being human. Doesn’t matter if we want them or not. They have become part of our lives just like crab grass and breakfast on the run.
Encountering breathless hyperbole of this dark nature is one thing whereas falling down the rabbit hole of mindless security is altogether different. Do we need a password to buy a loaf of bread or a new car? What if a person forgets his bathroom password or the password on his corkscrew?
Armed with pages of passwords humans are out of vogue, replaced by computer apps and robots. Futuristic predictions about chips in our foreheads are not so far fetched.
Next month: Was that saintpeterpearlygates.com? or beelzebub@hellshalfacre.org?
Trump Administration Passes Expiration Date
An announcement this morning that the Trump Administration had dangerously passed its expiration date left staffers scurrying around and onlookers wondering. It was not clear if today was the day or if the throw away date had passed.
“It’s clearly marked on the inside of president’s ties,” said one invertebrate Democrat. “He knew.”
Most people agree that the doings of the current White House are just a distraction so that the rich people in this country can make more money on the backs of the poor. It seems to be working. In the Washington Post alone there were seven headlines showcased the T Word.
Meanwhile a skimpy thong of protestors held signs reading: Do not sell after this date. It appears too early to tell if The Wall. repeal of Obamacare, tax reform, and Russian probes were enhanced by the publicity and echoes of the coming Apocalypse.
“These have been familiar elevator tunes lurking n the background of the musical chairs performances over at the White House,” added the aforementioned Democrat. “Considering the madness about, we all might be soon surviving on whatever we can get our hands on at the time. Expiration dates mean little to the illiterate. I myself keep a full tank of gas and an overnight bag in my jet. I hear Mars is nice this time of the year.”
For related piece please turn to Congressional IQ Test Comes Back Negative
Missing Link “aprehendido” en el césped de la Casa Blanca
(Washington — November, 2017) Las fuerzas de seguridad de la Casa Blanca anunciaron prematuramente la captura del eslabón perdido curiosamente ilusorio el viernes. Aunque parece que el Enlace estaba bajo custodia en cuatro lugares diferentes dentro de fortificaciones construidas apresuradamente en la Casa Blanca
Con solo una silla de playa, una linterna de marinero y vestido con un taparrabos de diseñador, según se informa, el Link escaló una valla de quince pies con facilidad mientras los oficiales seguían direcciones variadas.
“Es como jugar damas chinas sin un chino”, dijo un portero veterano. “Por mi parte, creo que The Link es capaz de cambiar el espacio y salta de una medida aterradora”, prosiguió.
“Lo vi con estos ojos. Él es resistente y de otro mundo a pesar de que puede ser el pegamento que mantiene unida nuestra historia genética “.
Una cuenta de noticias conflictiva lo tiene escapando de la captura y desapareciendo en el Potomac. Una mujer de Maryland dice que vio lo que podría haber sido el Eslabón Perdido cruzando la calle en el Parque Takoma.
Un ex oficial de policía que ahora opera el Centro de Guardería Soggy Bottom en Chinatown dice que vive en un sórdido departamento cercano.
Otras fuentes de inteligencia de alto rango afirman que ha solicitado asilo político en la Embajada de los Etruscos en Virginia.
Esta parece ser la última de una serie de saltos de vallas en la Casa Blanca, aunque es el primer incidente relacionado con el Eslabón Perdido.
No está claro por qué el FBI, la CIA, la Interpol, la KGB, la NRA y una variedad de agencias policiales estatales y locales están tan interesadas en los movimientos de Link, que ha logrado eludirlos a todos en los últimos 20 años. .
“Tal vez el Eslabón Perdido no sabe nada o quizás sabe demasiado”, dijo el sheriff de un condado. “De cualquier manera, su captura pondría una pluma en la gorra de policía de alguien.
-Susie Compost
INOCULATION REQUIREMENT DROPPED FOR UTAH VISITS
(Nucla) Visitors to the the Beehive State will no longer be required to show proof of vaccines/shots according to the Sturgeon General’s Office at Cahone. The long held practice of preventive health insurance was abandoned after the Twin Cities (Nucla and Naturita) were shown to be reasonably safe.
“They haven’t had a case of leprosy in over 15 years and both communities continue to make strides on Dutch elm disease as well,” said Dr. Simon Lackluster of St. Roscoe’s Clinic in Cahone. “We think it has something to do with uranium tailings,” he mused, “but that’s a very touchy subject.”
The Disappointment Valley Optimist Club has already scheduled a prairie dog pancake supper to celebrate the lifting of the quarantine.
“It was killing our summer tourism,” said one member of the altruistic sect.
Red Soyalle, a Basque chef operating Grady’s Gravy Heaven in Paradox told The Horseshoe that “the gov’ment ought to stay out of the commerce end of things and help with the fly problem around here.”
“I hang fly paper and even give out swatters to every adult diner,” he whined. “Why can’ those little balls of snot open their own restaurant? They could serve (expletive deleted).”
Flies often grow to enormous size here but elected officials are reluctant to blame the problem on radium/uranium tailings (see above).
Visitors from Mars and Telluride are reminded that they are still required to carry a visa when wandering west of Redvale. That’s the document not the plastic.
– Uncle Pahgre
CB SKI DOME APPROVED BY COMMISSIONERS
(Crested Butte) Construction of the nation’s first Ski Dome is slated to begin in April according to unreliable sources here. Last night’s blanket approval of the expansion by Gunnison County Commissioners was the last stumbling block in what has been a five-year effort secure a permit for the dome.
Over the past few seasons lift ticket prices have increased substantially while improvements have hardly kept pace. Critics of the ski industry, pointing to lucrative use of public property in the ski/real estate formula, say the Department of the Interior should implement lift ticket control like rent control and other programs operating around the country at present.
“The dome will represent these elusive improvements that ski barons keep talking about,” said Melvin Toole, a retired bumpmeister from Pitkin. “Now when people ask why tickets cost so much the lift operators can simply point at the dome.”
Sources at CBMR say the dome, which will cost 3 million dollars to build, will save thousands in snow making expenses and discourage melting due to climate controls turned on at night. The filters imbedded in the ceiling will allow just the right kind of sun into the picture while blocking out the dangerous rays. Skiers can expect perfect conditions every day and plans to operate the lifts 24-hours a day are in the works.
“Wind, blizzards, flat light and frigid temperatures will be a thing of the past,” said Billy Bub Bo Benchmark, a ski area spokesman who courted anonymity. “It will be a lot like going to the mall or skiing on a video game.”
Already local merchants have been invited to place large advertisements on the inner walls of the dome and native trees have been replaced with plastic varieties. The astro-turf arrives Friday.
“The retractable roof lets snow in while keeping many of the negative elements out,” said Benchmark. Three new hotels are planned and a 100-acre parking area has been purchased from the Rocky Mountain Biological Weapons facility at Gothic.”
Construction is expected to be completed by the Fourth of July, unless it snows.
“Now they won’t even have to lie about last night’s accumulations anymore,” said Toole.
“This is fun and exciting,” said Benchmark. “We just hope nobody runs into a wall.” – Suzie Compost
