All Entries Tagged With: "Rockies"
Yet another delightful Irish village
Castletownsend in West Cork is quietly tucked away near the sea and the green
Baltimore, West Cork Seafront
This mellow little village is the jumping off point for an assortment of beautiful islands off the Southwest Irish coast.
Feds to undress cartoon exploitation
In an attempt to relieve the ongoing exploitation of cartoon characters in this country Congress has approved a bill that would house victims and punish perpetrators.
Over the years the relationship between cartoons and people has deteriorated with even famous cartoon greats feeling disillusioned and without hope. It is feared that without protection many will follow the all too familiar path into the gutter or escape through animated drugs and alcohol. Bad treatment comes not only from humans but, as often the case, from other cartoons as well.
Personalities such as Wiley Coyote, Elmer Fudd and even Donald Duck were cited as classic casualties of such immoral practices. One lawmaker added (to paraphrase) that less notable cartoons are duped daily with many playing the part of fall guy to humans who, in most cases, are less than their intellectual equals.
“What happens in our existing system should make us all ashamed,” said Anne I. Mate, a longtime advocate for cartoon rights.
“Cartoons are expected to work long hours in wretched conditions without pay. On some sets the characters don’t even get a lunch break or a glass of water when they are thirsty. Something must be done and done right now.”
Mate added that civilized nations have laws already in place to protect cartoons from manipulation by the corporate structure. In France, for instance, it is illegal to work cartoons more than 40 hours per week while in Germany and Switzerland employers must provide housing and a clothing stipend for any legal cartoon. In New Zealand cartoon characters appearing on Saturday morning prime time must be given Sunday and Monday off so as to recuperate.
“These benefits are only fair, especially when one considers the often dangerous working conditions faced by the average animated performer,” said Mate. “Many cartoons fall off cliffs, are hit with flying objects and are blown to pieces with dynamite or other explosives. Let’s face it: These characters deserve just compensation at least for surviving loved ones.”
Mate went on to say that if the situation is not remedied we may see shortages of cartoons in the future and that many will seek employment in other areas such as real estate, massage therapy and government.
Whether or not the new legislation would affect the status of television news personnel was not clear at press time.
– Kashmir Horseshoe
“I have wielded a blood-stained sword and howling spear. The bird of carrion followed me when the Vikings pressed forth.” – from Fin Gall by James Nelson.
GOP says it colluded with Supreme Being during 2016 elections
(Dixie) Republican evangelicals say that they colluded with God during the 2016 Presidential Elections in the United States. The stark admission comes after months and months of testimony conducted in the shadow of the Divine and Foreign Powers Act of 1937.
In addition, many say there is nothing illegal about the activity since it is entirely faith based. There is no paper trail including banking transfers, email hacks or whistle blowers involved.
“These people may be conversing with higher powers. We cannot prove it is untrue. Many have imaginary friends but none of them has a pinch of spiritualism. They may think they talk to a higher force but in reality there is no one there at the other end of that conversation,” said a fellow Republican who called the pseudo-embrace of morality fear baiting and warned voters to stick to the issues.
“These charlatans are trying to distract voters from the real issues and grab a few bags of campaign gold from their frightened constituencies,” continued the GOP source.
“Whoever or whatever is responsible for this human predicament mess on earth has certainly taken leave. The very idea that a controlling being would be interested in our election charades is absurd,” echoed another fallen away Republican.
“People without souls intent on saving other souls has stood in the way of man’s natural ascension and has created a damaged, unhappy existence for millions,” said the source. “Up till now phony religion has been the most destructive force on the planet but hold onto your halos…here comes Monster Weather!”
House Democrats threatened to subpoena everyone who talks to themselves but, alarmed the no one would show up, dropped legislative action on the subject before it ate into their lunch hour.
“They will not subpoena anyone from up here,” said a heavenly voice. “We don’t even know what collude means.”
-H.L. Menocken
Murphy’s Breath Welcomes Spring
Flora of Ireland Part IV
Murphy’s Breath
Beautiful Murphy’s Breath in full bloom along a roadside in West Cork. The flower gives off its most pungent fragrance in the morning and can be detected in many public houses throughout the day, often culminating with sagging leaves in the evening. halitosias murphysonium
Common name: Murphy’s Breath
Scientific name: Murph-glabr B.spectibilis
Family: Hopocataginaceae
Color of flower: red to purple
Blooming time: April and May in West Cork
Propagation: Hard wood-wetlands. Origin: Cork City
Used as small hedge, hair dye, dental floss, potted patio plants or simply to admire from afar. Stale odor is said to drive away potential mates as well as predators large and small, and to effectively knock bothersome sea gulls off local excrement carts (with apologies to the late George Carlin).
compiled by Lord Lucan Gombeen
CONGRESS TO UNDRESS E-MAIL ADDICTION
Should social media be classified as a social disease?
(Washington) The situation is worse than imagined. That’s the conclusion of a Congressional sub-committee on the sensitive subject of email addiction.
At press time more and more people are accessing the Internet and with it the ability to send messages on-line. Many are dangerously addicted to the instant gratification that comes from split second electronic chatter. Then they start sending small talk and inconsequential banter over the net.
“The most severely addicted send meaningless drivel to a host of destinations in social media,” said one investigator. “Lots of times they don’t even know with whom they are communicating. They spend countless hours at the computer sending what is in affect junk mail.”
In many instances the lame messages are quickly deleted by the receiver upon recognizing the sender’s name on the in box roster.
“Imagine a woman in Missouri waiting for a new catfish and black-eyed peas recipe from her mother in Louisiana when all of a sudden she gets one of those tedious family Christmas updates on E-Mail,” said one committee member. “It could easily be enough to ruin her appetite for the holidays.”
After the Christmas recess the congress will decide if legislation is necessary to prevent the spread of this disease. According to unconfirmed sources here the law makers agree that such practices are an invasion of privacy but have yet to determine if constant email activity can be treated as a social disease.
“We’d like to find a cure before it’s tool late,” continued the source. “If these people had to go to the trouble of mailing a letter one wouldn’t hear from them in a coon’s age.”
“Technology is terrorism’s most effective ally. It delivers a global audience.”
