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Many pets still without on-line service, email

(Gunnison) Despite the promises by elected officials and bureaucrats waiting for payday, a majority of pets in the United States remain computer challenged, illiterate within the Internet spectrum and completely locked out of the social media.
The travesty grows. 94% pets responding to a simple questionnaire say they have been ignored by the high tech junkies and purposely excluded from electronic communication on the grounds that they are stupid or that they cannot type or spell worth a lick.
“Should minor pitfalls prevent an intelligent dog or cat from embracing progress or function effectively in the modern world?” asked one former lion tamer turned dog walker here. Societies that bar access to beings that they consider to be a liability are always burned by the arrogance, crippled by the resentment.”
If it wasn’t already bad enough, the public schools are holding tanks for most, billionaires run the country and there are poor people wandering around Wall Street. Keeping this segment of the population in the dark will not provide for a better life on the Internet. It will not help to control spam or junk mail. It will simply discriminate against four-legged creatures, many of who would like to join the 21st Century before it’s too late.
– Rufus Maxwell

Bruins never replace divots

But how’s his short game? Black bear wanders the greens at Divide Golf Club on Log Hill Mesa

Ridgway Cologne Hits Apple

(Pleasant Valley —  August 10, 2015) Virgin batches of Uncompahgre Spring and Cow Creek Obsession dominate the shelves in New York City. The regional and fractionally distilled liquids sell out in minutes, allowing the experimental perfume to blaze its place among metaphorical abstractions worldwide.
And its all concocted using seasonal recurring natural resources recycled after intricate exposure to just enough sun and rain. The only real expense, besides shipping and marketing, is the cooking apparatus and, of course the little glass bottles and pretty stoppers.
The exotic fragrance, hydro-diffused and steam distilled, uses a blend of natural and indigenous elements found on the ground in local parks after the snow melts. The national interest in things Western and rustic is booming at present, as indicated by the burgeoning sales figures. Some 73,000 bottles (at $150 per ounce) were sold almost before the fashion accessory exhibit opened for business before the weekend.
Uncompahgre Spring is crafted from the fiery waters of thermal dimension. Combined with volatile liquids and the compacted variables harvested from the thawed, soggy ground at just the right time, the perfume relies on bark, moss, leaves, seed, discarded opinions, decomposed fertilizers (domestic and wild) and pine needles.
The much-anticipated Cow Creek Obsession on the other hand, relies on aromatic compounds from assorted plants, interspersing a floral, musk-like fragrance to make its statement on the scented runway of high fashion. Both aromas overflow with uncontrolled passion, the level of which puts the wearer on the verge of collapse, of total destruction.
“This fragrance burns down the house,” said Rudy Morenci, who first began blending aboriginal materials in his barn in 1980. “This ain’t no toilet water,” stressed the happy-go-lucky, pearly handled, tobacco-spitting, cowpuncher that often rides the range in front of the local drugstore.
“It’s a mystery to me how these people can afford to buy little bottles of smell good juice,” laughed Morenci, Tuesday’s breakfast still prominently displayed on Friday’s grizzly beard.
“I think some of them is drinking the stuff.”
Morenci told investors that, upon the receipt of his first royalty check he would dig a hole and bury his clothes.
“I’m going to have 200 horses and one cow. Then I’ll start living the good life,” he said.