All Entries Tagged With: "Magoo put of in licensing discrimination"

Mr. Magoo Angry Over License Restrictions

(Glenwood Springs) A legally blind Mr Magoo (no first name given) threatened to sue the Department of Motor Vehicles here after being denied driver’s credentials for the third time in as many days. Donning a series of disguises, the slippery Magoo failed to fool technicians at the licensing bureau.

     According to Geraldo McSpam, a leading advocate of more stringent testing in the automotive arena told The Horseshoe that Magoo was blind and could not be granted a license.

     “He tripped over one large table on his way up to look into our color monitor, then he walked into a wall after failing the vision test. It’s one of the lowest scores we’ve ever recorded.”

     Magoo claims that, due to the frantic pace here and the lack of mass transit in general, he needs to drive a car to survive. Of course, in keeping with his longtime cartoon status, Magoo cannot be seriously injured in an accident even if he drives off a cliff, crashes into a wall or simply explodes.

     “They give licenses to geriatric RV operators and many can’t see worth a hoot,” carped Magoo. “What about a system that grants driving permits to 16-year-olds? These statistics speak for themselves. Why am I being crucified over this? I pay taxes. I have a right to drive.”

     In an attempt to avert a nasty law suit the state is entertaining an approach that would allow Magoo a temporary license restricted to far west Delta County between the hours of 2 am and 4 am on weekdays.

     “We don’t want him cruising the strip on weekends or during daylight hours. Before 2 am we have lots of drunks out on the road and after 4 am we have heavy farm traffic. It’s bad enough now,” said McSpam. “Who ever started the policy that grants permits to cartoons anyway?”

– Fred Zeppelin