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Century Link Office Without Service

(Special from Hello Phone!  –  February 10, 2015) The local office of Century Link has been without telephone service since earlier this week due to the actions of an undetermined employee or employees in an undisclosed office somewhere over the rainbow.
“We have called and called to get this matter sorted out but we are either put on hold or run through an annoying series of prompts and hoops,” said Orem Zapp, of the detached corporate telephone provider. “Century Link needs to hire more “service professionals” or lower its rates. Paying customers should not have to deal with this runaround.”
The service was apparently cut-off back on Wednesday due to what has now been logged as nonpayment. Sources at Century Link are convinced that someone simply hit the wrong switch somewhere in its vast empire of wires and digital beeps.
“This is ridiculous,” cried Zapp. “We always pay our bills on time.”
According to a hastily formatted response, Century Link says the disconnected party has not paid a phone bill since the days of Ma Bell and the Pony Express.
Citing case number 45kk30091LSMFT, Century Link contends that irresponsible behavior demands punitive actions be taken: The disconnection of the offending member.
Century Link offices here continue to be without service. Corporate sources, insulated by design from its client base, have estimated that the cut-off party will have to pay $2143.06 to reconnect. Today’s correspondence verifies that the amount will continue to increase until the bill is paid in full.
“We are not demons,” said one company spokesperson. “We can set up a payment plan.”
Meanwhile, employees at the secret underground facility located somewhere beneath the Uncompahgre Plateau are carrying on with the daily exchange by employing CB radios and homing pigeons.
Fortunately the postal service is on its toes,” said Zapp, “so we can continue to send out invoices to our customers in good standing.
– Susie Compost