All Entries Tagged With: "Buy an ad sanjuanhorseshoe.com"
Rent-to-own ad space
In a flippant, all but haphazard response to diminished incomes in the newspaper rank and file, sanjuanhorseshoe.com is now offering doddering clients something concrete, personal and innovative. Much like a time-share, this acquisition is smooth and secure with a healthy down payment. Combining data collected from the War on Terriers, Slugs and Communism the transaction takes just minutes Here’s how she works: A business purchases a week of ads at $200. It then receives 200 Boner Points toward the eventual purchase of the rectangular spot (mortgage marketing measure) on the semi-prestigious sanjuanhorseshoe.com website. Most spaces run between 75,000 and 800,000 Boner Points, an easily attainable status, usually taking less than a year, depending on purchases.
Instead of throwing good money to the wind, we now see those funds invested in empowerment, in communication, in ego, in fear… intangible ad spaces—a great investment! The advertiser is actually building equity while promoting his agenda. A boon against inflation!
All solar-powered ad spaces are now off the grid, powered by promises and off-shore windmills along the Colorado and Green Rivers. Organic refuge, long the fodder for editorials, is today composted somewhere in the West End in an attempt to placate the Uranium Gods of yesteryear. Everything is recycled and collected by maintenance crews responsible for cleaning and lawn work.
Whether or not advertisers could sell their time-shared spaces down the road, sub-lease the ad space, or transfer services in promotion of specific products has yet to be discussed. Questions as to the validity of ownership and the conceptual ramifications of these acquisitions were not undressed at any public meetings*.
Once the ad space is the property of the advertiser he can reshape it, remodel it or use it as a rooster cave or hen parlor. Heavily monitored by Doomsday Partners, the Land’s End Coalition and your local police academy, one software giant surmised that a success here could go a long way toward solving the housing crisis in the country, repair failing infrastructure and provide clean air and water for all. She did not elaborate.
– Uncle Pahgre
