All Entries Tagged With: "Adult American History classes"

Mouth Marbles on the Range

Finally! Adult American history classes now forming. Understand your own history before it gobbles you up. Find out what they didn’t tell you about the US in school and become a real patriot for it. Coursework covers slavery, genocide, labor wars, racial immigration, coffin ships, disappearances of Chinese laborers in the San Juans, causes for the Mexican and Civil Wars, Reconstruction, Robber Barons, Jim Crow and the emergence of political parties (not the kind one wants to attend).

Box 19865, Rifle. Pry your knowledge and comprehension out of the dark ages. Geography tutors on site too. Register at the Multi-Events Center at the Cathedral of the Perennially Stunned today!

60,000 ways to win at Jingo Bingo Tuesdays

at The Somme VFW, Gladstone.

Flapjack recipes from the Great Beyond.

Sole fare in heaven is pancakes

and crepes on the holiday weekends.

Believe it!

Late scores:

Godiva Society 5    Polar Bear Club 1

Canned Thought 4   Bud Lite 3

Fashionable Fact Check # 611

 1859 was not the first year that saw Americans peeing more inside than outside. It was actually 1869 with the invention of the Henway Pulster Correction Device and Corned Mesh-Halter. The heavily weighted plunger worked fine until the start if the American Civil War when it became apparent that insufficient septic constriction up the line was not easy matter down the line. Four years after the conflict, old data was flushed in lieu of new findings that tipped the scale in favor of those who preferred the indoor facilities. Other important pioneer fetishes listed under pioneer fetishes by another cover.

 Peewits: They are a subfamily of medium-sized wading birds which also includes the plovers and dotterels. The Vanellinae are collectively called lapwings but also contain the ancient red-kneed dotterel. A lapwing can be thought of as a larger plover.

“When was the last time you will felt yourself floating up high in a cloudless sky wearing nothing but a Barbie lampshade and padded knee socks? Never. Almost nothing trickles down, fool. The rich hoard it. Why do you think the sky is so blue? Why do you think their kids are rich?”

– Henny Penny in Trickling Down Your Peewit Femur and Other Poems, Testosterone Brothers, Boston.