RESURGENCE OF ELK TIPPING BLAMED ON ALCOHOL ABUSE

(Ridgway UPS) It happens more often than not. A tranquil cow elk is charged by a gang of inebriated pranksters. She ends up horizontal. Another night we see a bull sprawled out like a common throw rug after such an brutal attack. We watch as humans crash their bodies into the sides of unsuspecting elk intent on slamming the animals rudely to the ground. What is psycho-social meaning and purpose of such an atrocity?

It’s called elk tipping and is different from the more accepted sport of cow tipping in that one substitutes a larger, often more aggressive elk for the normally docile moo-cow. The preferred results are the same with one addition: The more agrarian cow handles the stress of tipping much easier than the warrior prototype elk who often turns to the bottle to escape this sordid reality.

According to an unpublished report alcoholism is up a rowdy 35% within the elk ranks in Colorado. Of corpse this takes into account the seasonal jump (10%) of all kinds of substance abuse brought about by the presence of hunters in the woods. However the savage sport of tipping has added another 25% to the already gruesome figures. Sociable scientists are now asking the question: How much more can these animals take?

Law enforcement officials are reluctant to prosecute elk tippers unless they are drinking and driving. They say they are already far too busy enforcing the laws on the books without getting off on this potentially explosive tangent. Therefore the question remains: What will we do about elk tipping. As we journey toward the end of the reason

Continued in the morning