Obama Cans Everyone

(Washington—October 26, 2014) An irritate Barack Obama today fired everyone employed by the federal government. Saying he was “accepting resignations through the 20th” the President gave no other specific reason for the action, which many are calling “severe”.
“It’s nothing more than a cheap cost cutting move prior to elections,” said First Lady, Michelle Obama. “I wouldn’t pay a lot of attention to it if I were you.”
Still desks were to be cleaned out by the deadline of 4 pm. Former employees could risk losing pensions and other payments that they will now not receive, if they are not cooperative in the conclusion of federal business.
White House press secretary Josh Earnest says, “That’s a crock. It’s cheaper to put them on unemployment compensation than pay them and buy toilet paper too.”
How the government will function following the dismissals was anyone’s guess at news time. Obama was not in his office this morning and was not returning phone calls. According to close friends he was playing baskeball.
Many world leaders expressed shock at the shutdown while others congratulated Obama for landing a blow on the big red nose of world bureaucracy.
Far-reaching ramifications of the closure include the loss of government and bank services and the well-documented Flight of the Lobbyists, an apocalyptic march to the gates of Hades. – Q. Maxwell DeLeone