Mayberry Ghost Visits Police Academies

(Malfunction) The ghost of Andy Taylor paid a call on a host of Colorado police academies this week expressing concern over the current state of affairs between law enforcement and the people. 

     The legendary lawman and longtime sheriff of Mayberry, North Carolina told recruits that the us vs them philosophy was all wrong and that the public were not a bunch of criminals like they are told at the academies. He encouraged the police to adopt the concept of serve and protect instead of the current line which separates both parties.

     Students at Police State here questioned the validity of the visit saying that if the citizenry simply stayed in their homes there would not be a problem.

     “We never had any of those academies in Mayberry or even over in Mount Pilot and everything seemed to run smoothly,” stressed Taylor. “If I needed a deputy I had Gomer or even Guber in the wings. They already knew everyone in town and could perform their job without prejudice or profiling. Even little Opie knows what the result will be when we start banding together in armed camps.”

     Speaking at the Augusto Pinochet Police College in nearby Fruita, Taylor told anyone listening that the people are not the enemy and that the police were losing the respect of their constituency.

     “The cop on his beat is a thing of the past,” said Taylor. “Now they just drive around looking for drunks.”      

– Barney Fife