Local man arrested for elk chummin’

(Uncompahgre Plateau) A local outfitter has been arrested and charged with operating an illegal chumming operation here. Melvin O’Toole, 96, of Pea Green is currently incarcerated at Montrose County Prison. He is expected to plead not guilty. Doesn’t everyone.
According to sheriff’s deputies O’Toole engaged in elk baiting during the sacred rutting season and, despite warnings from other hunters, ruthlessly stalked deer all summer long.
If convicted O’Toole could lose hunting privileges for up to ten years and/or face a firing squad. His attorneys told The Horseshoe that he is a strict vegetarian and was only planting cherry tomatoes when taken into custody.
“Our client is innocent and has the right to plant tomatoes at 9,000 feet even if their chance of survival is slim,” said one lawyer. “The very idea that he might try to lure game into his compound is absurd, the charges deceitful.”
O’Toole has been under investigation of late for alleged illegal pot still whiskey production up in the pinions. Authorities here suspect that the glut of single malt sagebrush spirits that hit the street this summer may have been distilled right under their noses. They have been under pressure from local church and civic groups to make an arrest.
Along with O’Toole, police confiscated over 40 salt licks, three barrels of oats, about a ton of cracked corn and assorted bales of hay said to have a street value of $100,000. No poteen, or illegal was recovered and the suspect passed a roadside sobriety test moments after being taken into custody.
According to unreliable sources police were tipped off when O’Toole was overheard saying that the kokanee fishing near Almont “was dynamite.” At that point he was under surveillance and subsequently arrested. – John Doe