HACKERS RELEASE CONGRESSIONAL EMAILS

(Washington) Hackers have successfully breached Congressional security, making public direct contact data common to the legislative group. Moments after forced entry, the hackers announced that emails, social security information and even home phone numbers would now be available to citizens of the world.

The cyber break-in, one of the most extensive to hit the United States, promises to send piercing shock waves through world governments either allied or at odds with the governing body here. Even the White House has been put on alert in apprehension of further interruptions and potential sabotage.

It is feared that identity theft is already in motion, blurring the partisan image across the aisle and making it virtually impossible to tell the elected officials from lobbyists that congregate each day just outside the sanctimonious doors of the Capitol.

The sensitive information now floating in cyberspace could pose serious security issues but will also allow constituents unprecedented access to their elected officials. Already many Americans have called their Congressmen at home to suggest action or complain of undoings.

“We have reached a new plateau of freedom in this nation in that these coyotes and their entourage are now forced to be responsive to the needs of their constituencies,” said an unreliable source who has reputedly been on the phone all night. “In the recent past they would simply release a double-talk statement through their attorney or public relations department. Now they will have to talk directly to their fellow countrymen who, as the early returns suggest, are not pleased with the workings of their gov’ment.”

It is not known if this development will lead to a rational exchange and elected officials might start listening instead of talking.

“All most of these elites care about is themselves and their reelection,” said the source. “Now the tables may have turned.”

For all of you that called in: We do not know how the hacking will affect the popular Win Lunch with Your Congressman Contest now in progress all across the land.

– Mario Swervo