Dangers of Secondhand Hot Air Told

(Denver) The Colorado Department of has issued a rare warning on secondhand hot air in a non-election year. Citing the millions of dollars spent in the state by candidates and special interests in 2012, the state agency suggested that no prospective change is in the wings and that the results of that most recent election will lead to no constructive campaign reform.
“It’s just like blowing smoke in a classic sense, inconsiderate, dangerous, but still legal in this country,”said department spokesman, Mona Wrinkle. “Every four years voters cut off their noses to spite their faces, but we still retain this stone age pork barrel comprehension of change. People are at risk from this continued barrage of hot air and don’t know what to do about it. The problems all start from the top but the poorly informed electorate drop the ball,” she gasped.
Wrinkle also said that secondhand hot air has been deemed harmful by a slew of state and local agencies all over the country but legislation to correct the threat is far from a reality.
“The proverbial smokey back room is still full of hot air and remains in vogue,” she began. “In the Senate, in the House, in the Oval Office and down on Main Street we hear nothing but calculated opinions and more of the same promises. Every election sees the American voter plagued with misdirections and hype that leads to more of the same ridiculous folly.”
The health people say they cannot control the system but that they seek to alleviate the source of the antagonism. Exposure to hot air has been blamed for illogical response in the voting booth.
“All politicians are full of it,” said Wrinkle. “It’s the nature of the beast as it were. We’re simply trying to protect the people from immediate health risks. We are not politically affiliated.”
The health department hopes to combat these dangers by banning political attacks in public places where people are most likely to be exposed to hot air. They have already designated sensitive areas as hot air sections where no politician is welcome and discouraged the outright purchase of candidates by special interests in and out of the United States.
“In addition we have helped to educate children as to the disaster of basing decisions on political jargon and especially promises made by people trying to get elected to everything from President to dog catcher.”
Wrinkle then warned of a little known phenomenon called post traumatic election syndrome which occurs when voters realize that, despite the propaganda, their vote really means nothing in the grand scheme of things and that the current system eats its young. Although no clinical counseling is available at this time Wrinkle told The Horseshoethat she and her staff are there for voters who need to turn the corner on this growing health hazard.
– Gabby Haze