Correction – Was it really semantics?

We mistakenly blamed sarcasm in our recent story about the annoying, even toxic seaweed invasion of Mexico’s Caribbean beaches. Sargassum, the name of the offending macroalgae, is the culprit here, and certainly not sarcasm, defined as verbal irony often aimed at mocking or insulting another. Sarcasm relies on dry and bitter sharpness in its delivery. It is often accompanied with smirking and eye rolling, Satire is usually a more perennial, extensive effort, such as a novel or news story penned to make fun of society.

Meanwhile, this unwanted sargassum continues to pile up, encroaching on Cancun-like beaches threatening the tourist industry.

“Even the inmates of the cruise ships don’t like to look at it,” said one local guide. “We tell them it’s just stinky sand that has not yet been pounded into fine particles yet like the rest of the beach. We even tell them in English. Clutching their credit cards, sunscreen and insect repellent, many believe us.”

A major effort on the part of the Mexican gov’ment is underway.

“The seaweed was washed and blown down here from the north where it has been brine fodder for an assortment of marine animals that don’t instinctually congregate in the warmer water of the Caribbean Sea,” said one marine biologist. “It’s clear we need to ship the stuff back for their dinner or invite them down here for an epic nautical barbecue.”

A spokesman for the government would not comment on rumors that local mermaids have become entangled in the sargassum and that leviathans and sperm whales had vacated the premises.

The website has promised to take responsibility for this serious gramatical mismomer just as soon as the beaches return to normal and the cash registers sing again. Readers should take not that the sargassum is nothing like the algae that discolored the botched upgrade of the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool. That is called orange algae, even though it apears in a green shade and was supposed to be American flaf blue in honor to the nation’s 250-year birthday. It is clearly the result of incompetent workmanship and the spoils system awarding of a multi-millions dollar contract to Atlantic Industrial Coatings (AIC), a MAGA-loving a company that contributed heavily to the trump campaign in 2024. Massive peeling accompanied the algae growth from the beginning of the project.

Claims of communist vandalism by the White House, a desperate attempt at covering up the highly embarrassing performance on all fronts, was debunked by the Justice Department. The answer to why that branch does little to debunk other lies and blatant distractions upchucked by retches posing as standard bearers for freedom and well being is not yet back from the laundry.

–Small Mouth Bess