CLOUD SEEDING CATALOGUES ARRIVING FRIDAY

(PITKIN) The 1998 Cloud Seed Catalogues are expected to be delivered to businesses and residences at the end of the week according to crop dusters on lift ten. The catalogues, a bi-product of alleged United Nations meddling in the internal affairs of Los Estados Unidos and her clones, will be whisked into town via black helicopter. Others will be displayed on the winternet. Cooperative citizens who can show they have no opinion in matters of state can exchange the paltry imprints for thimbles of herb tea through the season. Warning: Dogs caught riding the gondola will be prosecuted, their owner’s mountain bikes sold for scrap. You try writing news stories with a head cold and a mouse that sticks.