All Entries in the "Soft News" Category
DO YOUR WORK AND DON’T BE LATE TO DINNER
In 1928 two boys sat along Boxelder Creek a little ways outside the town of Wellington, Colorado. One was Byron White, the other was his older brother, Sam. They were enjoying a relaxing Saturday afternoon following the sugar beet harvest, a brief respite from the workday world of their youth.
Although they excelled in the classroom, both worked endless hours unloading lumber and coal from the Colorado and Southern and cultivating sugar beets for the Great Western Sugar Refinery. Byron had began working in the fields at six-years-old for $1.50 per day.
That day, in the shadows of the Medicine Bows Sam talked of the future.
“Dad says if a person gets As he goes to college.”
“How many As?” asked his younger sibling.
“All As,” smiled Sam.
“Near as I can tell I’ve got 6 more years of school before college. That’s a lot of As.” said Byron.
“It’s either that or work in the refinery and stay here in Wellington,” stressed Sam.
Like most small towns there existed a constant rush by the younger residents to leave and get on with life. Wellington’s juvenile elite felt the same. One of their boyhood friends later said it all:
“I liked growing up here. You bet. But the main thing is getting out.”
Sam talked of going to the University of Colorado. Byron talked of the same, plus playing football against teams like Oklahoma and Nebraska. Both would earn full tuition scholarship after high school.
As Byron later said: “In the late 20s and early 30s the farmers weren’t making much money. There was very little money around Wellington, and I suppose you could say, by today’s standards, we were quite poor. We didn’t necessarily feel poor because everybody was more or less the same. Everybody worked for a living. Everybody. Everybody.”
* * *
“All right, Huddle up,” said White. “I’m gonna hit Antonio on the left side. We’ll fake the sweep and I’ll roll out. Make your blocks.”
It was New Year’s Day 1938 in the Cotton Bowl. The talented Rice squad was set across the line of scrimmage. The ball was hiked and the play came off without a hitch. White threw an 8-yard touchdown pass to Joe Antonio to put Colorado up 7-0.
The success came as no surprise to anyone least of all Whizzer White. In 1937 the Buffaloes had gone undefeated and he had been named All American, the first from Colorado in any sport. In addition he had led the nation in rushing. He lettered in baseball and basketball as well. He was the ultimate student athlete, student body president, a Rhodes Scholar and a member of Phi Beta Kappa.
White, like many players of his day, played both sides of the ball. Fortunately for CU he was in the defensive backfield during the next series of downs. The Rice quarterback forced a pass over the middle and White picked it off going 47 yards for the second touchdown. Colorado led the favored Rice team 14-0.
“Nice interception, White,” yelled the Colorado coach from the sideline. “Keep after them.”
Despite the effort the Owls battled back and won the game 28-14. It sounds a lot like the old Nebraska match-ups in the Big Eight.
* * *
After college White played pro football, (the highest paid player of the era at $15,800 per year), leading the league in rushing twice. Despite playing only three years he was named to the Pro Football Hall-of-Fame. He attended post-graduate school at Oxford, England and went to Yale Law School during off-season. During World War II he served in the South Pacific and won the Bronze Star. After the war he went back to Yale Law School, where he finished first in his class in 1946.
Not bad for a former beet picker from Wellington, Colorado.
In 1962 he was named to the Supreme Court where he served until 1993. His athletic awards are too many to mention. Over the years he was named to every All, Hall and ball team associated with Colorado and the NFL. In 1965 his number 24 was retired by the university.
Once after retirement reporters asked him how to spell Whizzer, to which he reponded, “B-Y-R-O-N.”
According to people who knew him he made athletic and academic excellence look easy. Just a little work ethic and a desire to achieve.
Thanks to the University of Colorado Athletic Department, The Boulder Daily Camera and The Man Who Once Was Whizzer White by Dennis J. Hutchinson for information herein.
DOW Considered Feeding Deer Uranium Tailings in 50s
(Greater Flatland Wards of the State Express November 15, 2016)
With the release of secret Division of Wildlife files it has become apparent that Game and Fish officials planned to feed uranium tailings to local mule deer in 1956. The plan, dubbed Operation Atomic Bambi by militant factions within the agency, was to be enacted following combined hacking season and carried out through the winter months.
“Let’s be fair here,” stressed Merv Ditchwater, a spokesman for the state. “Back in 1956 people thought uranium tailings were just part of the landscape. They thought the waste was just the price of progress. They certainly didn’t worry about the dangers of toxins what with the Cold War raging and the local economy booming over in the West End.”
Operation Atomic Bambi was simply an attempt to kill two birds with one stone according to higher ups in the agency. There were lots of tailings and lots of hungry deer. On unreliable source told The Horseshoe that bigger, possibly more intelligent animals were the ultimate goal.
“We thought we could grow giant deer and maybe larger elk with this high tech diet,” said the source, now retired, who worked on the project. “Then we could jack up the price of licenses. Nobody knew much about uranium and the negatives of mining the stuff. It’s a lot like the nuclear energy industry today.”
The nuclear industry has still failed to come up with a safe, effective way to store its byproducts yet it continues to generate tons of toxic waste per year.
“Maybe the Atomic Energy Commission is waiting for aliens to land and show us the way,” laughed Ditchwater. “Either way we’re in deep guano when it comes to the future of the planet.”
Officials at the division admitted that the only animals that liked the tailings were prairie dogs and cockroaches. Both species grew enormous in no time at all and had to be deported to the Utah desert where they still thrive. Hunting season on these mutated beasts has been suggested but never launched.
“The deer never really gave the program a chance,” said Ditchwater. “Hell, they didn’t even know a cold war from a bucket of oats. They stuck their little noses up at the tailings and continued to chew on sagebrush, and alfalfa when they could get it.”
Today Colorado has an overrun of deer and more elk than any other state except Euphoria. According to a staff biologist they are the same size they were back in the Thirties, when residents here all but succeeded in eating them all up.
Phillip Cheroot
After Seven Games….Comes Ump’s Night Out
The World Series umpire crew hanging out at Morgan Cavanaugh’s iconic and classic dive bar Moriartys Wednesday night till 4 this morning …was a bucket list moment. Thanks to Jim Brophy for the photo.
Many Elk See Themselves as Bullet-Proof
(Silverton) A vast majority of elk in Baker’s Park herds think they are above the laws of natural selection and out-of-range when it comes the efforts of hunters to shoot them. Most, especially the bulls, feel that their precision instincts and ability to evade the pursuer will save them from the freezer and/or the final barbecue.
Many also expressed certainty that the Colorado Division of Wildlife will protect them.
Elk responses, monitored in other regions of the Rockies did not share this optimism, splitting down the middle on the stringent issue of basic survival, quality of life and general well-being.
Perhaps the most interesting profile emerged within younger members of these herds who overwhelmingly felt that hunting season was too long and rutting season too short. Many of these adolescents expressed despair when shown the color orange and were openly cynical when it came to discussing year-round treatment at the hands of the DOW, their legal custodians.
Meanwhile the older entourage expressed concern that many of the more bravado members of their species might be in for a surprise when the hunters come to town. Saying that they didn’t live this long by taking chances, most confirmed that they will take on a more ambiguous demeanor and practice more elusive behavior during the season. Avoiding confrontation, they say, is the best way to make it through the daylight hours when armed mobs roam these hills.
Radical elements insisting that they must meet violence with violence were written off as loco, or at best naïve, by most other elk.
The inquiries did not touch on the loaded question of gun control since all game animals vehemently favor what they call “long overdue” legislation .
– Fred Zeppelin
Hunters Warned of Stoppages
(Spar City, CO The Rio Grande News Leaker October 15, 2016)
Most of the toilets out in the woods are severely stopped up after a week-ling super hero convention held near Santa Maria Reservoir and Bristol Head in Mineral County. Although authorities stopped short of pointing the finger, it is quite clear that the attendees regularly slipped out of their Spartan digs to enjoy the relative peace and luxury of camp ground restrooms.
Hunters wishing to enjoy the facilities in most of Colorado’s National Forests and state parks may find a little more than they bargained for behind the old swinging door.
“It’s a mess up there,” said one ranger. “Hopefully we can get the flow back before the big freeze shuts us down for the winter.”
The Superheroes, demanding anonymity, insist that none of the Bristol Head entourage had crossed the line. Many were angry at the implication. They blame the stoppage on deer and elk or an occasional pack rat.
“We know the difference between bear, lion and herd animal scat,” quipped the ranger. “This is something altogether different and on a mass scale something out pipes cannot accommodate.”
Although little is known about the digestive system or capacities of super heroes local police fear the worst. One officer told The Horseshoe that he actually saw throngs of these “men and women of action” enter a facility at Seepage Lake and overwhelm the facility in just moments.
“While there is nothing illegal about Batman or Wonder Woman using the john the condition of the facility was deplorable and criminal in the strictest sense of the word,” said the officer. “Hunters, even those armed to the teeth, should avoid these depositories until at least the combined deer and elk season in November.”
A spokesman for the Forest Service said the entire agency is bracing for a gala Donald Trump victory party slated for November 9. Many feel the potential damage
VENISON CAR WASH SLATED
(Norwood) The local chapter of The Protected Order of Venison will sponsor a car wash on Saturdays during October. The car wash will be offered from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. up and down Grand Avenue and at a second location at the bottom of Norwood Hill. The cost of the service is $10 which will go to the United Venison Collage Fund. Hunters are invited but reminded that a cease fire exists within the town limits. Other interested parties are encouraged to take advantage of the less than savvy automotive janitors by showing up with multiple vehicles and/or the week’s laundry. Advance tickets are available everywhere in town and in Redvale. All are invited to turn out and show your support for this worthwhile organization.
MEAT THE DEER NIGHT OCTOBER
(Montrose) The 2016 Meat the Deer and Elk Night will be held at Colorado Yurts Compound on South 4th in Montrose according to a source there. Each year a local business sponsors the social event in an attempt to promote fellowship and good standing between local herds and hunters from all over the world. Refreshments, including chili and oats will be served. Free information, including maps and a guide to local shops and services, will be handed out and a slide show will be presented. Last year’s event, held at Gunnison’s House of Good Spirits, was deemed a success by almost everyone involved. Just show your license at the door and have a good time!
– Small Mouth Bess
