More “TOOLE escapes”

Continued from page 2

and fell through the heavy brush. tool was then debriefed and deloused then flown to Airububi, in the western corridor of this dirty, sniveling little republic. Unfortunately a malfunction in the bar car of the helicopter caused it to plummet to earth delivering the hapless Toole into the mouths of swarthy cannibals and into the hands of their long-time allies, the British. It was at this time that a British officer backhandedly introduced Toole to the lovely Princess Irm Peawit, “Mistress of the Nile” and heir to the Oscar Meyer meat fortune. Peawit had run away to Africa after the Cubs lost the play-offs in 1985 and had married several chieftains before falling into slavery in July of 1986. Peawit and Toole immediately began planning their escape.

   Upon his arrival to Airububi, Toole had noticed a system of microwave towers strategically placed at nondescript intervals throughout the region. If he and his exotic runaway could just reach the first tower undetected they had a chance. It would be all worthwhile if he could deliver the unsuspecting Peawit to her parents in Lake Forest, Illinois and collect a handsome reward of $30,000 pounds of bacon.

(continued on page 67)