In an attempt to deprive The White House of the attention it desires we will limit stories to one column per week. Since journalism is in the flimflam business too we feel the necessity to address this mean-spirited circus by loading just another atomic mass unit onto a broken, crashing cart.

Trump continues to refuse to release golf handicap 

From a man who sees himself as another Einstein but thinks Haile Selassie was a kosher sausage, comes a further refusal to share vital data with the American people.

Paired with his refusal to release tax returns, this latest repudiation shocked the sports world and is expected to create massive blowback much like a slice into the rough.

“Donald gets those hips moving he’s a threat. He bullies the bunkers and water hazards,” said a former caddie who once tweaked the president’s score card. “He cheats at every chance.”

In a related story the six Republican senators that landed on Mars yesterday have yet to formulate any plan for their safe return to earth. The legislators, on a fact-finding trip of with the potential for Biblical revelation, have circled the caissons and organized a filibuster against the solar system.   

TRUMP TOWERS HOSTS CHEATER’S SPELLING BEE

1. toxic

2. pariah

3. plutocrat

4. toadies

5. heart

Bonus: Find 10 shit holes on a world map?

Breaking News: The USS Congress sank today after collision with deep water fracking tanker in the Pacific. All are perceived as lost. Trump, in his Red cap, said to have been spotted in a terrific rowboat headed to Israel the only country who will let him in.

Trump’s Sun God Claim Misinterpreted in Liberal Press says Sessions

A deity to be feared and worshipped?

“I never said that,” he insisted. His retinue, along with many adoring young sycophants in the GOP “can’t recall him saying that.”

And Now The Federal Judiciary is considering installing lie detector machines in the White House. Machines disguised as ATMs are meant to catch persons guilty of mistruths without delay. Three lies and the liar is incarcerated right on the spot and held “tar baby style” until the Congress and Judiciary get there to make a formal arrest.

And if that’s not enough: A Blueprint of the Berlin Wall was today recovered from Oval Office. It had been the property of the Smithsonian. It was not clear how the document landed in the Egg Shaped Office in the first place.

– Another bogus accusation made against the defenseless and unsuspecting president by the mongrel, left-wing Muslim Marxist press.

Curt Review:

A new movie that has been billed as the epic horror film is set for release April 15. The premise is a bit far fetched and all of the actors are white males. Low cost zombies like Bill Pence, werewolves like Sarah Huckabee Sanders and vampires like the Cromwellian Paul Ryan are featured. Even a crisp cameo or two by the less than dynamic Evil Dwarf cannot prop up his shoddy piece of work. Skip it.

And they thank the Lord for the land that they live in where the White man does as he pleases.” 

– Nancy Griffith