Pence Denies “Bannon is Rasputin”

Vice President “Hoosier Bill” Pence vehemently insists that Rasputin, the deceased Russian monk, looks more like Hillary. But just look at the hand movements in each photo plus the comparative bad hygiene, beady eyes, angry glare, greasy hair and poor complexion.

Gregori Rasputin

The original accusation, linked to the ongoing Russian scandal, had no real impact among Trump faithful since most aren’t familiar with the mysterious Rasputin.

Bannon shocked party loyalists by unbridled criticism of the president last week calling Trump “a self-aggrandizing political charlatan who has lost his mind.” Trump’s former Nashville Security Insider later apologized saying he really didn’t really mean those nasty things and was simply engaged in a harmless game of political Scrabble.

“He is just trying to use big words here to throw us off the scent but it won’t work,” continued Pence, who said he hopes to be crucified some day soon. “Our King Donald bibles have a dictionary in the back.”

Steve Bannon

 Across the aisle of broken promises Democrats are asking themselves: “How would Maximilien Robespierre or Jean Paul Marat have dealt with these creatures?” It’s funny how the image of the guillotine keeps creeping back into this dialogue.

How much of this would Joan of Arc have tolerated ? How about Catherine the Great or a liberated Queen of Hearts or Emily Post with a hand-held missile launcher? Alas, we can only dream sweet dreams.

 In a related move a House bill aimed at terminating the title Honorable from Congressmen’s names (until they prove themselves so) is expected to reach the Senate floors and ceilings by the weekend.

“If one has only one plate he will rarely face a sink full of dirty dishes.”  – Gyro Juju