US Poised to Claim Gold Medal in Prisoner Ratio

“We must continue to insure that our poor school districts continue to descend into the shoddy and inferior. Otherwise how can we be expected to maintain our prisons at full capacity?” – Arlene “Big” Heart, (Whig-Suburbs) “Sure, our schools suck but we’re firmly in first place again with impressive incarceration numbers. This is the Olympics of Education and we are competitive once again.”

Half of the world’s prison population of about nine million is held in the US, China or Russia.