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Pax Tourista declared by Polis

(Denver) Pledging continuity in positive tourist growth in Colorado, today Governor Jared Polis declared 2005 as Pax Tourista. This tribute only comes along once every 50 years and the recognition goes far beyond state borders. Exhorting all Coloradans to embrace the esteemed honor, he was overtly candid when speaking to merchants and service groups employed in the hospitality industry.

     “Merchants in Colorado must be prepared to juggle the silly questions without looking down their noses at flatlanders and other visitors to our state,” he began. “Sure they seem like people from outer space sometimes but deep down they are just like we are and need a little reassurance, especially when out of their element. Be nice,” he stressed.

     “A smile can disarm even the most demanding visitor,” he continued. “These people are our guests and not walking dollar bills.”

     Polis suggested that merchants keep windows clean and shower regularly so as not to offend. He reminded business people that sticky doors, mean dogs and naked children running around did not send the right message to tourists looking for the high country experience.

     “Third World charm should stay there. Our visitors want a little creature comfort after they come back from hiking, eating and fishing. It’s up to us to provide it. A little sincerity goes a long way,” he reminded. “And try to limit the number of restrictions on the entry way. Nobody likes to read No this and No that on the way in to buy a rock or a postcard to send back home. Keep the rap music down and avoid cooking high-intensity ethnic delicacies in the halls too,” he said.

     Adhering to some of these simple considerations should result in a healthy, prosperous year for most Coloradans.

     “We just want to make sure you pay your sales tax,” the governor joked.

– Uncle Pahgre