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Culinary college resents feeder designation

(Crested Butte) Lawrence of Oregano Culinary Academy has filed a domestic libel suit claiming misrepresentation and reckless endangerment on the part of POX News and a bevy of subsidiaries. 

The academy, named for a popular restaurant located here in the early 70s, says the use of the term feeder is inappropriate and damaging to “a business image that has been evolving off the grid for over a decade.

“These talking Freds have referred to our school as a feeder institution for too long,” said head chef Susanne “Sous” Fry, recognized as the innovator of vertical food architecture, among a throng of other accolades.

“These hacks eat out of can. They wouldn’t last a lunch shift in the real world,” added Fry. “They’d burn the biscuits. They’d foul the flambe. They’d misspell the roux.”

She went on to question just exactly how or what her restaurant was feeding in that the college has been ranked in the top three foodie domains since its inception.

“Our students have already arrived, unlike the phonies at POX,” she said.

Attorneys for the academy expressed hope that the matter would be settled out of a quart rather than further bog down the ongoing county legal process.

“It’s a hot potato here, a real pressure cooker, especially at the height of ski season,” said Adolf Cromwell, of Parlin’s Cromwell, Calvin and Quisling group, currently representing the academy. 

“We are not looking for a pound of flesh, said Crowell. ”We seek a simple retraction and legal fees. We see no sense in egging anyone on.”

–Kashmir Horseshoe