All Entries Tagged With: "Putin calls up sex workers"

Hashishistan defies Putin,

The tiny Eurasian principality of Hashishistan is threatening reprisals after a threatened conscription of balding men by Russia. Never part of the massive nation to the north, the small dominion of 2500 has refused to cooperate with efforts to entice the descendants of Tamerlaine into the Russian army for rubles and cheap vodka.

     “We have nothing against Ukraine or any other country,” said a chancellor from Mota, the capital city. “We will not be bullied by Putin and his surviving oligarchs. Besides, any student of grain knows we prefer Polish spirits.”

     Even the newly coronated Donald of Orange has chimed in to the conflict calling the Russian advances an obvious violation of international hair space .

     “Everyone knows that,” he barked in sound bytes.

     80% of the residents of Hashishistan have orange hair (natural or bottle) prompting Democrats to suggest that Trump is extending special treatment to the Hashishistanis.

     “They flattered him and he responded in kind like always,” said one Democrat in hiding.

     In a related development, Russian leader Vladimir Putin has threatened to call up over 50,000 Russian sex workers ( of the over 4 million currently working in and out of the country) and send them into battle against Ukraine.

– Fred Zeppelin

“I don’t like white people and I is one.” – Huck Finn in “James”