All Entries Tagged With: "gluttony replacing desire to travel?"

Gluttony Replacing Travel in US

(Grand Junction) Eating to excess is slowly replacing the desire to travel according to statistics compiled by the US Department of Health and Aimless Wandering. In January more than 52% of those tested gained weight while only 23% had the huevos to get on an airplane.

     “It’s just that it’s easier to buy a package of Twinkies or eat at fast food emporium than it is to go anywhere,” said Melvin Toolski of the federal agency.”

     Toolski added that most people become disoriented when faced with packing for even a short trip while what he called Tar Baby Security at the nation’s airports has made air travel all but impractical.

     “And this is not some cheap joke about airline food either,” he quipped.

POLKA, OLIVE OIL LIFE ENHANCING

(Gunnison) People who regularly dance the polka and consume olive oil will live longer says a study conducted at Western State College here. The almost alarming results come as no surprise and the future  painfully clear: We need more polka bands and need to plant and cultivate healthy high-altitude olive trees along with the more traditional crops.

     Researchers agree that long life expectancy in polka-friendly segments of Eastern Europe confirms their findings. They add that people in the Mediterranean region, whose diet is all but synonymous with olive consumption often live beyond the age of 100. Low stress was also factored in to the formula.