Coors Field Security on Alert After Continuing Dinger Attacks

(Dember) Some fans say the man who allegedly attacked Rockies’ mascot Dinger back in April  was back in his seat Friday leading to concerns about audience safety and adult self-control on Blake Street.

Mounting attacks have taken the conflicts to a second level forcing authorities to beef up patrols around men’s rooms, souvenir stands and hot dog dispensaries.

Dinger, victim or provocateur?

“These are places that Dinger has been physically abused by Rockies fans, angry and frustrated with the basement in the NL West,” said popular commentator colored guy Waite Wilbourg. “The fans would like to take revenge on the current ownership that they insist does little to improve the disappointing and embarrassing performance of the pitching staff.”

When asked if in fact the pitching staff problems are a direct result of injuries sustained at the start of the season Wilbourg’s  eyes rolled back and he began chanting “Arenado…Story…Arenado….Story”.

At present there have been over 80 attacks on Dinger. That compares to 3 during the same time period on Avalanche mascot “Bernie”, while Edson, a symbol of the Colorado Rapids has suffered “only a scrape or two’ from unruly fans. 

The Nuggets, due in part to a successful campaign this season,  have had no incidents involving negative response to Rocky. Similarly, over in Bronco Country no one has had the cahones to mess with Miles the Horse.

Management has attempted to downplay the violence intimating that the supposed attacks were more like tackles and were the work on a lone wolf (left-handed) perpetrator who is expected to be start for Albuquerque on Monday.

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