MIGHTY PACK RAT SAVES UTAH FAMILY FROM FIRE

(Ticaboo) A powerful packrat, allegedly super-charged by constant exposure to hybrid pest repellent, is credited with saving an Utah family from an all-consuming blaze that destroyed their house and barn last night.

The nocturnal rodent, an enthusiastic participant in communal living, apparently discovered the fire in the cellar of one of the dwellings and alerted the family who fled before the flames reached the first floor.

“Adrenaline was definitely in play,” said one local deputy. “This rat pulled steel beams, pushed through a crumbling retaining wall and chewed a hole in the roof to relieve smoke damage all while scurrying below the smoke and certain asphyxiation. We have pictures from the structure’s security system. I know it sound stupid but that rat was some kind of body builder, he frowned.

“We don’t know how this loving rescue will affect the status of the hated pack rat in rural environs,”added a fireman on the scene. “These gnawing bastards have had a public relations problem since the Plague and before.”

It was not known if the family and the rat knew each other.

-Suzie Compost