Give Tailing Funds to Residents

Funds further earmarked for tailings cleanup operations around the Idarado Mine sites near Telluride and Ouray should be distributed to residents of the area. The trust fund of sorts, rumored to exceed $2.5 billion, should be divided between the estimated 5,000 households in question, giving each approximately $500,000.

Suddenly affluent, residents would certainly begin traveling all over the world with a frequency much higher than the national average. Would it be too much to ask them to haul a second suitcase fill with tailings? Once they (the tailings) are out of our region they’re someone else’s problem.

Using formulas derived at this newspaper, we might be free of our tailings problem by the year 2037, which is decades ahead of other current estimates.

Then, and only then, will we be able to breathe free and get back to the business at hand: selling time shares to people from Texas and Oklahoma.

-Dolores Alegria

“Presumption is the brother of ignorance.” – General Kashmir Horseshoe, before and after the battle of Big Butt Butte, Mañana Brigade, 1882.