All Entries in the "Fractured Opinion" Category
An Bang kitchen
Linger a while in the shade and the tropical breeze. Somone is sure to make a scruptious noodle dish before long.
Cuba wants to use rum to repay debts
(Havana) The Cuban government has announced its aim to repay foreign debtors with it’s famous rums. (Name a few here) have been earmarked as the finest for export to countries who have helped the island nation weather he storm of economic embargo.
Russia and China are already on board with the Czech Republic, Vietnam and an assortment of South American countries showing interest in the plan. Other say “maybe…but what kind?”
A wide range of quality of rum exists in Cuba from gourmet to low-end. The rate of exchange and how the rum would be shipped were not clear however the architects of the exchange appear certain that the deal will go through, allowing everyone to enjoy the national nectar.
“Everyone knows about Havana cigars,” said one official here. “But many don’t realize we produce the finest rums in the world. Soon we might even sell the beverage in Western countries who have supported to embargo, she said.
Lobbyists with several Puerto Rican rum distillers have filed a complaint with the United Nations and the OAS but no one has responded from those organizations leading watchdogs to believe them naive in the ways of international business.
“The rum is easily the best and we don’t really want to export it at all,” said the source alluding to the thirsty residents of the Caribbean locale. “It’s either the rum or coconuts which are perishable or Fifties vintage Chevrolets that are cumbersome and somewhat impractical anywhere else but here.”
– Jolly Pena
“They think we’re old and useless. They forget that we too have earned he right to live! So I say if we are going to die, my friend, let us die trying, not sitting” – Sa to Ch’idzigyaak after the two old women were left behind by their starving nomadic tribe in the Arctic.
– Two Old Women by Velma Wallis
Movies of note-A quick review
Ratings *****Worth the investment ****Better than TV
***Still waiting for the book**Great time to nod off *Utter crap
GIRL WITH THE DULL EARRING – Severe indictment of Dutch society, hair styles and ear piercing techniques in the 16th Century. Attempts at eroticism fall short due to extremely unattractive characters. Everyone appears constipated or just downright mean. Costumes are the only saving grace in this costume drama.**
DODGEBALL – A ribald documentary which presents US Mideast policy in a good light. Lots of graphic flag waving and mindless jingoism alone make the film worth the admission price. Warning: If you are offended by your own nudity this movie may not be for you.***
HARRY POTTER: PRISONER OF AZKABAN – Potter goes to Iraq, is captured by militants and forced to memorize the Koran. Co-stars Cat Stevens as Iran.
KILL BILL – Former President destroys any chance at literary posterity (cash up front) by this lousy best-selling autobiography. Soon-to-be-released film is on the level of The Terminal which is slightly worse than Girl With the Dull Earring and Raising Rummy. Did this guy really go to Oxford?*
GARFIELD – Cartoon version of the short administration of President James A. Garfield. High water marks, such as his marriage to Lucretia Rudolph computer generated. Splendid impersonations and voice overs of Chester A. Arthur by cat-like Bill Murray.***
THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW (The sequel) – Humans are urged to leave earth. “It’s too dangerous! We can no longer protect you!” say Shrek-like storm troopers. Examines frightening elements of a not too futuristic planet including North American bus travel and the depleted gene pool.****
THE STEPFORD DIVES – Diva robots sling oil drinks in dark, Kuwaiti daytime bar rooms while their control freak emir husbands lap it all up. Many humorous asides from Mr. Boston Bartender’s Guide. How many times will thus worn-out theme survive the cutting room morgue? Almost enough to make one want to go to work.**
HB 86 Angers Realtors
(Crested Butte) House Bill 86 which would prevent realtors from running pictures of themselves and/or their dogs in print advertising has created the expected ruckus within the ranks of the profession. Saying that the restrictions would place agents at a distinct disadvantage when attempting to reassure buyers several local realtors have already filed suit.
“We have to show a human face, even if its been lifted,” said one aging beauty here. “The potential buyer wants to believe that we are honest and trustworthy and that we’re not jacking up prices just to make a larger commission. The dog thing has been dynamite. It presents us as loving pet owners. Nobody can resist a Golden Retriever.”
In recent years realtors have taken to running pictures of dogs in their display ads in an attempt to create a positive perception of themselves as god-fearing, dog-loving, average Joes just out to make an honest living.
Muffy Hollandaise, a local realtor on Elk Avenue, said she does not expect the proposed ruling to affect her bottom or bottom line.
“If they won’t let us put our mugs in the ads we can simply run pictures of little kids or grandmothers. If they can the dogs we’ll just run cats instead. There are lots of cat lovers out there with a down payment. Maybe erotic shots would do the job. They seem to work for the fashion industry and successfully market beer to fourteen-year-olds.”
Primitives, who once roamed the earth without the concept of private ownership of land, still fear that a photo threatens the subject with the loss of his soul.
“Bucolic beliefs like these are ridiculous and have no bearing on realtors or our rights in a free market system,” said Hollandaise.
– Susie Compost
Happy Bulgarian Saint Patrick’s Day in Vietnam
Our friend Anton discusses the beauty of green beer in front of his Shangrila Restaurant in An Bang Beach, Vietnam
