You Animal You

by Dr Ard Bark, DVM

Rover and Kitty Need a Break, Too

Many fellow travelers ask: “Dr. Ard, why do you insist on bringing three dogs and a cat on your vacation?” My eternal response remains: “Rover and Kitty need a vacation too!”

Pets need to see the world. Some have even become fond of the tiny cages that are their temporary abode on continental or oceanic flights. These are inconveniences to which the well-adapted toy poodle or ever Great Dane can adjust.

Why do our four-legged buddies need to travel? Often it is simply to break the monotonous routine of knocking over garbage cans or chasing rodents. These repetitive chores cause dangerous stress. Most of us, who are still around, have learned to deal with stress. We relax. We escape. We vacation…often while poor Rover and Kitty are left at home with the neighbor in the same drab surroundings. Don’t they deserve a better lot in life?

Do you think it’s easy to bark all night or sleep in the sun all day? Well, try it sometime.

Next time think before you act. Include your pet in your vacation plans. The result will be a more relaxed, directed animal.

Next month we’ll talk about “favorite four-legged vacation spots” in North America.

Oh, yes, and before I forget: If you’ve never contracted Manchurian Bubonic Plague, DON’T PLAY WITH THE LOCAL MARMOTS THIS YEAR. Pitifully, those cute, cuddly whistle pigs, as they are called in Manchuria, who come right up to your car to feed, are carriers of the dreaded disease. Luckily it is all they have to carry as they maneuver even higher across the rough San Juan terrain.

The affliction begins with paralysis and swelling of the legs, motion sickness, galloping consumption, and inevitable insanity.

If you, or one of your family members, exhibit these symptoms see a doctor immediately, if you can find one, what with the exorbitant malpractice insurance premiums and all.

See you next month

Remember: Dogs and cats need sunglasses too.