WORLD IS FLAT SAYS KANSAS EVANGELIST

(Dodge City) An often respected television evangelist, Reverend Philip “Phil” Pharisee, has shocked his flock by declaring that the world is flat. The announcement came in the middle of a sermon delivered at Church of the Undivided Plain in nearby Spearville. Pharisee remarked that it is refreshing to see ancient articles of his well-watered imagination backed up by physical law for a change. He added that any fool, even a secular humanist, only need look out of his window to know the real truth.

     Pharisee, a major proponent of secession in Southwest Kansas, went on to add that the entire concept of Columbus discovering America was nothing but a cheap real estate scam.

     “If he really discovered America why won’t he return my phone calls!” shouted Pharisee, working up quite a sweat by now. “If you cynics out there don’t believe me you can read it for yourself as soon as somebody gets his ducks in a row over at UPI!” he warbled.

-Estelle Marmotbreath