*Trump “Anti-Christ Bible” sells for $2

(Washington) An important keepsake from the aborted Presidency of Donald Trump sold for $2 on the open market today, more than doubling its real worth according to booksellers and unreliable religious sources in nearby Bethesda.

Remember the photo of Donald Trump holding up what appeared to be a Christian Bible during the January 6 riots egging supporters on to the Capitol encouraging them to violence while in the capacity of President. His small-brained followers, pobrecitos hung out to dry by a society who had no place for them, heard the call to arms loud and clear, resulting in the deaths of several people as well as a myriad of arrests. This was a pre-meditated job well done by a charlatan gangster who should be in prison but yet walks free.

Well guess what now — the tome he held up was not anyone’s book of scripture but rather  a Munich (Germany) phone book  printed during the Beer Hall Putsch in 1933. Oh my!

“Two dollars is a fortune when one considers that the Munich phone books were free back then,” said one bibliophile. “I guess it has some value as an antique which is more than I can say about the former President.”

Trump remains on most ballots despite efforts by Colorado Supreme Court to ban the insurrectionist from running for public office.

“It’s a very un-democratic approach to democracy, isn’t it?” asked one unaffiliated voter who supported Bernie Sanders in 2020 and Dion Sanders in 2023.

– Tommy Middlefinger

“It’s strange that a church with Mary at the center of its founding story could suffocate women’s voices for centuries.” 

– Maureen O’Dowd, New York Times